D-Bags Say the Darndest Things

[loddytoddy]

[Ramzilla]

I think a lot of us here have ADOS

Attention
Defecit
Oh!
Schlongs!

Fixed

[turbonate]

Fixed

Nice

[Ramzilla]

Ok I know it will be hard to even fathom but I may have been the douche in this story.

Young boy at work who is pretty nice but super annoying came up to me all excited and was like.
"I'm getting a Chevy Cobalt"
"Uh ok"
"Yeah it's an SS so it's real fast"
"No, it's real gay" I walked off.

Later in the day he comes up to me again
"Man your bike is looking good"
"Uh thanks dude"
" Yeah I like it ok but I really want a Victory High Ball"
"Uh ok"
"Yeah they are the best bikes and it looks so badass"
"I think they look retarded and would rather ride a ruckus"
"Uh yeah you know I don't really want one just thought they were kinda different"

Am I a dick?

[turbonate]

Ok I know it will be hard to even fathom but I may have been the douche in this story.

Young boy at work who is pretty nice but super annoying came up to me all excited and was like.
"I'm getting a Chevy Cobalt"
"Uh ok"
"Yeah it's an SS so it's real fast"
"No, it's real gay" I walked off.

Later in the day he comes up to me again
"Man your bike is looking good"
"Uh thanks dude"
" Yeah I like it ok but I really want a Victory High Ball"
"Uh ok"
"Yeah they are the best bikes and it looks so badass"
"I think they look retarded and would rather ride a ruckus"
"Uh yeah you know I don't really want one just thought they were kinda different"

Am I a dick?

I think you're probably this kids hero. He seems to value your opinion, we all get a little douchy now and then, the truck is to be able to recognize it and not be one all the time.

[turbonate]

That's just badass. You're on a roll.

[2lanehighways]

AT LEAST IT IS" 2 WHEELS",,,well Ramz, where,s the" Wedding Spot"? Just off the James River looked to me,?Horshoe Bend?Arcadia?Hollar at me ,,,

[Cisco726]

Ok I know it will be hard to even fathom but I may have been the douche in this story.

Young boy at work who is pretty nice but super annoying came up to me all excited and was like.
"I'm getting a Chevy Cobalt"
"Uh ok"
"Yeah it's an SS so it's real fast"
"No, it's real gay" I walked off.

Later in the day he comes up to me again
"Man your bike is looking good"
"Uh thanks dude"
" Yeah I like it ok but I really want a Victory High Ball"
"Uh ok"
"Yeah they are the best bikes and it looks so badass"
"I think they look retarded and would rather ride a ruckus"
"Uh yeah you know I don't really want one just thought they were kinda different"

Am I a dick?

He wants to touch peniseses with you. What an asshole. Psshh.

[SLO]

Did someone say SS?

[Ramzilla]

I think you're probably this kids hero. He seems to value your opinion, we all get a little douchy now and then, the truck is to be able to recognize it and not be one all the time.

Yeah he is actually a good kid and I guess kinda looks up to me. Usually I am pretty nice to him but he grates on my nerves most of the time.

[Ramzilla]

AT LEAST IT IS" 2 WHEELS",,,well Ramz, where,s the" Wedding Spot"? Just off the James River looked to me,?Horshoe Bend?Arcadia?Hollar at me ,,,

Check the marriage spot thread buddy.

[SLO]

[ContractKiller]

E85 also works really well in high compression 12:1+ N/A combos. It's just an amazing fuel, I'm switching my car this winter.

I ran E85 in my DSM because it was way cheaper than 100LL or Sunoco 260 and pretty much every gas station in my state sells it. I had to upgrade all my lines and shit to run it but I didn't have to bleed money to buy 260 on track days, and I didn't have to mess with the tuning. Just for that I thought it was worth the hassle.

[andri]

This guy don't even have to say a word

[shovelwitch]

I ran into a dude in the library of all places who was talking to old heads about cutting down an ironhead and making it a rigid. I promptly introduced my self and mentioned I ran around town on an old shitty shovel. One of the old dudes just grilled my ass and started testing my knowledge, asking me what I had (re)built from the ground up.
"What kind of motor is it?" hack.....I notice his Seed of Jesus's Salvation shirt (no wonder he's so cantankerous)
"80" inch cone shovel with some early heads, the bottom end is stamped 1979"
"Hmmm, 4 speed cow pie tranny"
"Naw, its a ratchet top"
"Nope if its a 1979 its a cowpie transmission" I soaked in the condescending glare, and raised the stakes
"Some old buddy of my actually told me it was an old three speed off a flattie someone modified to carry a 4 speed gear cluster, and it may look like a ratchet top, but it is actually what the old-timers called a slash-geared ratchet"
"What, I've neve....." I cut in
"Yeah man these fuckers are so obscure they require a synthetic alternative to whale oil, like what they used in lanterns and shit, what fuck man haha"
His buddies and him shared an astonished look. After the old yellow beard stuttered about how I was full of shit, I left knowing he was going to hit the googler hard when he got home. Jesus had let homeboy down hard that day.

[Pendulum]

Here's a combo for you guys.

I was cruising on my '09 XL1200, and noticed it was sounding a little weird. I figured it was just because I was wearing my headphones and my full-face, but as I was slowing down to make a turn I noticed shit was definitely not right. My bike kinda sounded like my buddys Shovel with crazy short pipes. I pulled over, and the bike died. Awesome.

Turns out the front exhaust flange nuts decided to take a vacation and my front pipe was just chillin' in the breeze, with about a quarter inch between it and the head. Neat-o! I looked up auto parts stores on my phone, and headed off on foot. I got about a block before I realized I have no idea what size the nuts are, and no tools. I figured the parts store would let me use some tools, but borrowing them to walk back to the bike (about a mile) probably wasn't gonna fly. So, I headed back to the bike and started pushing. I got about a 1/4 mile before douchebag #1 showed up. Well, that's not wholly true. A lot of douchebags drove by. Including a cop (glad he didn't stop), and a guy in a lifted Jeep with a tool box I could hear clanking. But, the first d-bag to say something was a geriatric rent-a-cop from an office plaza, who shouted form across the street "You're not gonna get too far pushing like that!" I try not to be an ass to old folks, so I just brushed him off with something like "Yeah, I'm just trying to get to a store to get some nuts and tools" and didn't even stop pushing the heavy fucker up the hill I was on.

I get to the top of the hill, and make a right to take a shortcut along a canal. A couple joggers and a city employee passed me while I was struggling up a couple more hills, but I can't really be mad at them. Bikers are scary after all, right? Even the pretty ones with luxurious hair (that's me, guys). So I get to the next block, which is where the auto parts store was. I hang a left and start heading up the sidewalk, tired as hell and light-headed from all this physical activity before breakfast. I got to the first intersection and realize the parts store is across the street. May as well use the crosswalk. Safety first and all. So I hit the "Walk" button and do my best cool guy pose with my Sporty. On the sidewalk.

Walk sign comes on, so I start heading across the street. About halfway across, some dick in a pickup almost hit me. Bright white t-shirt and a motorcycle, in broad day light, and he apparently didn't see me. I noticed his windows were down, so I asked fairly loudly "Are you blind or stupid?" (my favorite thing to say to people that almost hit me). He was apparently deaf and mute, because he just drove off as soon as I was out of his way. I'll call him d-bag #2, even though he didn't say anything. So after my new amigo ignored me and sped off, some chucklefuck sitting at the intersection leans out his window and hollers "Might be easier to ride it!" right as I reach the sidewalk. I shouted back "Whoah! I hadn't thought of that you fuckin' ASSHOLE!" I guess he didn't like my response to his comedy, because he rolled his windows up and focused his attention on the red light in front of him.

I made it the last 1/8 mile to the store, and bought myself a bottle of water and some 1/4-20 nuts. Whoops, the studs are 5/16. Oh, they're 5/16-24 and I exchanged my 1/4-20s for 5/16-18. Feeling fed up and outlaw-like (I am a biker, you know), I didn't bother waiting for a cashier to come out of the back to exchange the 5/16-18 for the 24tpi nuts. Went back outside, got my shit tight n' right, and then went back inside to sort out the nut situation and return their tools. Cashier and another customer both complimented my shitty Sporty, I thanked them, and got my ass home so I could get to work several hours late.

What the fuck drives these dumb fucks to say this shit? Malice? Sub-human IQ? Also, if anyone saw the intersection situation go down, I hope you got a laugh. In retrospect, I'm sure I was quite the spectacle.

[OleDirtyDoc]

Two words to that,Pendulum. People are stoopid.

[Pendulum]

Two words to that,Pendulum. People are stoopid.

It's the simplest explanation, and Occams Razor tells us that the simplest thing is the most likely.

[2lanehighways]

the boss throws the new job at me ,,,went and started restoration of stone wall, 9ft tall section 20 foot long. naturaly it had to be back filed with gravel,at day two ,3 loads on f250 of debri .I show boss pics of said headache ( his estimate was we could tear this down and rebuild with 2 guys in one week???he just kinda went uhhhhh.loss for words he was.

[turbonate]

Here's a combo for you guys.

I was cruising on my '09 XL1200, and noticed it was sounding a little weird. I figured it was just because I was wearing my headphones and my full-face, but as I was slowing down to make a turn I noticed shit was definitely not right. My bike kinda sounded like my buddys Shovel with crazy short pipes. I pulled over, and the bike died. Awesome.

Turns out the front exhaust flange nuts decided to take a vacation and my front pipe was just chillin' in the breeze, with about a quarter inch between it and the head. Neat-o! I looked up auto parts stores on my phone, and headed off on foot. I got about a block before I realized I have no idea what size the nuts are, and no tools. I figured the parts store would let me use some tools, but borrowing them to walk back to the bike (about a mile) probably wasn't gonna fly. So, I headed back to the bike and started pushing. I got about a 1/4 mile before douchebag #1 showed up. Well, that's not wholly true. A lot of douchebags drove by. Including a cop (glad he didn't stop), and a guy in a lifted Jeep with a tool box I could hear clanking. But, the first d-bag to say something was a geriatric rent-a-cop from an office plaza, who shouted form across the street "You're not gonna get too far pushing like that!" I try not to be an ass to old folks, so I just brushed him off with something like "Yeah, I'm just trying to get to a store to get some nuts and tools" and didn't even stop pushing the heavy fucker up the hill I was on.

I get to the top of the hill, and make a right to take a shortcut along a canal. A couple joggers and a city employee passed me while I was struggling up a couple more hills, but I can't really be mad at them. Bikers are scary after all, right? Even the pretty ones with luxurious hair (that's me, guys). So I get to the next block, which is where the auto parts store was. I hang a left and start heading up the sidewalk, tired as hell and light-headed from all this physical activity before breakfast. I got to the first intersection and realize the parts store is across the street. May as well use the crosswalk. Safety first and all. So I hit the "Walk" button and do my best cool guy pose with my Sporty. On the sidewalk.

Walk sign comes on, so I start heading across the street. About halfway across, some dick in a pickup almost hit me. Bright white t-shirt and a motorcycle, in broad day light, and he apparently didn't see me. I noticed his windows were down, so I asked fairly loudly "Are you blind or stupid?" (my favorite thing to say to people that almost hit me). He was apparently deaf and mute, because he just drove off as soon as I was out of his way. I'll call him d-bag #2, even though he didn't say anything. So after my new amigo ignored me and sped off, some chucklefuck sitting at the intersection leans out his window and hollers "Might be easier to ride it!" right as I reach the sidewalk. I shouted back "Whoah! I hadn't thought of that you fuckin' ASSHOLE!" I guess he didn't like my response to his comedy, because he rolled his windows up and focused his attention on the red light in front of him.

I made it the last 1/8 mile to the store, and bought myself a bottle of water and some 1/4-20 nuts. Whoops, the studs are 5/16. Oh, they're 5/16-24 and I exchanged my 1/4-20s for 5/16-18. Feeling fed up and outlaw-like (I am a biker, you know), I didn't bother waiting for a cashier to come out of the back to exchange the 5/16-18 for the 24tpi nuts. Went back outside, got my shit tight n' right, and then went back inside to sort out the nut situation and return their tools. Cashier and another customer both complimented my shitty Sporty, I thanked them, and got my ass home so I could get to work several hours late.

What the fuck drives these dumb fucks to say this shit? Malice? Sub-human IQ? Also, if anyone saw the intersection situation go down, I hope you got a laugh. In retrospect, I'm sure I was quite the spectacle.

Personally I think it's social media. These idiots blow bullshit all over the internet all day and night and feel like rock stars because of it, then pretty soon they start thinking you should give a fuck about what they think in the real world too. Maybe, maybe not, but most of the douchebag idiots I've met we're addicted to Facebook and MySpace and whatever the fuck else is out there.