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So, this was the 1st year I attended Vintage Days. The magnitude of that event was way more than I had expected. Got down there around 10 o'clock Saturday morning and was blown away by the facility and how many people were there. I'd like to go back again next year.
There were all kinds of people from different walks of life. Some were cool, others were just simply fucking cunts. I'm very observant of people and I figured I'd categorize most of them for future festival goer's.
Here we go:
1. Scumfuck- My first encounter with a scumfuck came shortly after I had passed the classic Japanese bike show. My dad was in front of me and we were going up the hill to find a parking spot. We were doing around 20 mph, which I figured was a pretty decent speed considering all of the pedestrians. Apparently not. Scumfuck came blasting past us with some meth whore draped across his rear fender. Weaving in and out of traffic, narrowly avoiding pedestrians and furiously revving his crusty ass chop until he was out of sight.
2. Dirtbike Dave- There were ALOT of dudes on dirtbikes riding around. Mostly old 70's 2-stroke bikes. They were polite as could be, but goddamn those fuckers were loud.
3. Damn Yankees- The Damn Yankees stayed in the museum all day. I guess they don't like the humidity down here. They like to run into you while you're trying to give the ticket checker lady your ticket, and they won't apologize. Then when you call them a "stupid motherfucker" their mouths gape open like you just killed their dog. They can also be found suddenly trying to root you out of your spot beside an old Indian you're trying to check out.
4. Scooter Bro- The Scooter Bro's were very well mannered. They would wave to you upon passing and smile alot. I guess they were just happy to be there.
5. Cafe Bro- Cafe Bro's were dicks. Well, most of em. Like 9.5/10 I'd say. Maybe. I nearly got ran over by more Cafe Bro's than any other biker at the event.
6. Leather Man- Leather Man just wants to know WHERE THE GODDAMN CHAPS ARE!!! Smokes cigars and rides a Street Glide. Has alot of buddies with him and is dangerously confused by the whole atmosphere of the event. Spends his day in the shade above the track drinking beer and cursing the scumfucks.
7. Slenderman In A BMW Shirt- Slenderman is a strange one. He'll come to your table in the museum and start a conversation with you while you're trying to enjoy your Coca-Cola and be left alone. Slenderman wears light blue shorts and flip flops and his vintage BMW shirt is neatly tucked in. He doesn't have a bike, but he rode his brother in-law's once and now he's "in the scene"
8. The Builders- Stick to themselves and have some pretty dope shit on display. Will talk to you for extended amounts of time. Maybe because they want you to buy something.
9. Mom's Of 3 In Short Dresses- Ah, the moms. I spied alot of these out there. These little beauties wander around trying to catch the eye of any half decent looking dude in a denim vest. Their goofy husbands get left in the shade to tend the chitlin. While not an actual motorcyclist, there were enough of these there to necessitate a mention.
10. The Dudes- My kinda people. Badass bikes, wear alot of black and are all around good guys. Can be found in the swap meet section, a case of beer in and screaming about sandwiches to passers by. Seriously, a dude offered me a bite of his honey mustard covered sandwich if I would "buy some of this bullshit so he could go home." I got a kick out of that.
11. Jabba- Like The Dudes, Jabba can also be found in the swap meet section. He weighs 400 pounds and is riding a very tiny scooter. He will block an entire aisle for 5 minutes while he tries to turn around to head 10 feet back the way he came to his spot.
12. Scumfuck 2.0: Swap Rat- Scumfuck 2.0 doesn't give a fuck that the aisle ways of the swap meet are FULL OF PEDESTRIANS. He's going to ride his smoking, one cylinder firing douche canoe right through the middle of all you motherfuckers. Smelling heavily of Evan Williams with his bro riding bitch, he'll run over your toes for fun. If you don't move over for him, he'll angrily rev at you and tense his little chicken wing arms up to show off his ink that his cousin Randy gave him. Beware The Swap Rat.
There's more but I think this sums it up. All in all it was a good event and I had alot of fun seeing everything. The Wall Of Death was fucking fantastic. I just wish people would chill the fuck out and not act like a bunch of teenage cavemen that just discovered their first boner.
There were all kinds of people from different walks of life. Some were cool, others were just simply fucking cunts. I'm very observant of people and I figured I'd categorize most of them for future festival goer's.
Here we go:
1. Scumfuck- My first encounter with a scumfuck came shortly after I had passed the classic Japanese bike show. My dad was in front of me and we were going up the hill to find a parking spot. We were doing around 20 mph, which I figured was a pretty decent speed considering all of the pedestrians. Apparently not. Scumfuck came blasting past us with some meth whore draped across his rear fender. Weaving in and out of traffic, narrowly avoiding pedestrians and furiously revving his crusty ass chop until he was out of sight.
2. Dirtbike Dave- There were ALOT of dudes on dirtbikes riding around. Mostly old 70's 2-stroke bikes. They were polite as could be, but goddamn those fuckers were loud.
3. Damn Yankees- The Damn Yankees stayed in the museum all day. I guess they don't like the humidity down here. They like to run into you while you're trying to give the ticket checker lady your ticket, and they won't apologize. Then when you call them a "stupid motherfucker" their mouths gape open like you just killed their dog. They can also be found suddenly trying to root you out of your spot beside an old Indian you're trying to check out.
4. Scooter Bro- The Scooter Bro's were very well mannered. They would wave to you upon passing and smile alot. I guess they were just happy to be there.
5. Cafe Bro- Cafe Bro's were dicks. Well, most of em. Like 9.5/10 I'd say. Maybe. I nearly got ran over by more Cafe Bro's than any other biker at the event.
6. Leather Man- Leather Man just wants to know WHERE THE GODDAMN CHAPS ARE!!! Smokes cigars and rides a Street Glide. Has alot of buddies with him and is dangerously confused by the whole atmosphere of the event. Spends his day in the shade above the track drinking beer and cursing the scumfucks.
7. Slenderman In A BMW Shirt- Slenderman is a strange one. He'll come to your table in the museum and start a conversation with you while you're trying to enjoy your Coca-Cola and be left alone. Slenderman wears light blue shorts and flip flops and his vintage BMW shirt is neatly tucked in. He doesn't have a bike, but he rode his brother in-law's once and now he's "in the scene"
8. The Builders- Stick to themselves and have some pretty dope shit on display. Will talk to you for extended amounts of time. Maybe because they want you to buy something.
9. Mom's Of 3 In Short Dresses- Ah, the moms. I spied alot of these out there. These little beauties wander around trying to catch the eye of any half decent looking dude in a denim vest. Their goofy husbands get left in the shade to tend the chitlin. While not an actual motorcyclist, there were enough of these there to necessitate a mention.
10. The Dudes- My kinda people. Badass bikes, wear alot of black and are all around good guys. Can be found in the swap meet section, a case of beer in and screaming about sandwiches to passers by. Seriously, a dude offered me a bite of his honey mustard covered sandwich if I would "buy some of this bullshit so he could go home." I got a kick out of that.
11. Jabba- Like The Dudes, Jabba can also be found in the swap meet section. He weighs 400 pounds and is riding a very tiny scooter. He will block an entire aisle for 5 minutes while he tries to turn around to head 10 feet back the way he came to his spot.
12. Scumfuck 2.0: Swap Rat- Scumfuck 2.0 doesn't give a fuck that the aisle ways of the swap meet are FULL OF PEDESTRIANS. He's going to ride his smoking, one cylinder firing douche canoe right through the middle of all you motherfuckers. Smelling heavily of Evan Williams with his bro riding bitch, he'll run over your toes for fun. If you don't move over for him, he'll angrily rev at you and tense his little chicken wing arms up to show off his ink that his cousin Randy gave him. Beware The Swap Rat.
There's more but I think this sums it up. All in all it was a good event and I had alot of fun seeing everything. The Wall Of Death was fucking fantastic. I just wish people would chill the fuck out and not act like a bunch of teenage cavemen that just discovered their first boner.
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