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  1. #1
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    Default Types Of Motorcyclists I Encountered At Barber Vintage Days

    So, this was the 1st year I attended Vintage Days. The magnitude of that event was way more than I had expected. Got down there around 10 o'clock Saturday morning and was blown away by the facility and how many people were there. I'd like to go back again next year.

    There were all kinds of people from different walks of life. Some were cool, others were just simply fucking cunts. I'm very observant of people and I figured I'd categorize most of them for future festival goer's.

    Here we go:

    1. Scumfuck- My first encounter with a scumfuck came shortly after I had passed the classic Japanese bike show. My dad was in front of me and we were going up the hill to find a parking spot. We were doing around 20 mph, which I figured was a pretty decent speed considering all of the pedestrians. Apparently not. Scumfuck came blasting past us with some meth whore draped across his rear fender. Weaving in and out of traffic, narrowly avoiding pedestrians and furiously revving his crusty ass chop until he was out of sight.

    2. Dirtbike Dave- There were ALOT of dudes on dirtbikes riding around. Mostly old 70's 2-stroke bikes. They were polite as could be, but goddamn those fuckers were loud.

    3. Damn Yankees- The Damn Yankees stayed in the museum all day. I guess they don't like the humidity down here. They like to run into you while you're trying to give the ticket checker lady your ticket, and they won't apologize. Then when you call them a "stupid motherfucker" their mouths gape open like you just killed their dog. They can also be found suddenly trying to root you out of your spot beside an old Indian you're trying to check out.

    4. Scooter Bro- The Scooter Bro's were very well mannered. They would wave to you upon passing and smile alot. I guess they were just happy to be there.

    5. Cafe Bro- Cafe Bro's were dicks. Well, most of em. Like 9.5/10 I'd say. Maybe. I nearly got ran over by more Cafe Bro's than any other biker at the event.

    6. Leather Man- Leather Man just wants to know WHERE THE GODDAMN CHAPS ARE!!! Smokes cigars and rides a Street Glide. Has alot of buddies with him and is dangerously confused by the whole atmosphere of the event. Spends his day in the shade above the track drinking beer and cursing the scumfucks.

    7. Slenderman In A BMW Shirt- Slenderman is a strange one. He'll come to your table in the museum and start a conversation with you while you're trying to enjoy your Coca-Cola and be left alone. Slenderman wears light blue shorts and flip flops and his vintage BMW shirt is neatly tucked in. He doesn't have a bike, but he rode his brother in-law's once and now he's "in the scene"

    8. The Builders- Stick to themselves and have some pretty dope shit on display. Will talk to you for extended amounts of time. Maybe because they want you to buy something.

    9. Mom's Of 3 In Short Dresses- Ah, the moms. I spied alot of these out there. These little beauties wander around trying to catch the eye of any half decent looking dude in a denim vest. Their goofy husbands get left in the shade to tend the chitlin. While not an actual motorcyclist, there were enough of these there to necessitate a mention.

    10. The Dudes- My kinda people. Badass bikes, wear alot of black and are all around good guys. Can be found in the swap meet section, a case of beer in and screaming about sandwiches to passers by. Seriously, a dude offered me a bite of his honey mustard covered sandwich if I would "buy some of this bullshit so he could go home." I got a kick out of that.

    11. Jabba- Like The Dudes, Jabba can also be found in the swap meet section. He weighs 400 pounds and is riding a very tiny scooter. He will block an entire aisle for 5 minutes while he tries to turn around to head 10 feet back the way he came to his spot.

    12. Scumfuck 2.0: Swap Rat- Scumfuck 2.0 doesn't give a fuck that the aisle ways of the swap meet are FULL OF PEDESTRIANS. He's going to ride his smoking, one cylinder firing douche canoe right through the middle of all you motherfuckers. Smelling heavily of Evan Williams with his bro riding bitch, he'll run over your toes for fun. If you don't move over for him, he'll angrily rev at you and tense his little chicken wing arms up to show off his ink that his cousin Randy gave him. Beware The Swap Rat.

    There's more but I think this sums it up. All in all it was a good event and I had alot of fun seeing everything. The Wall Of Death was fucking fantastic. I just wish people would chill the fuck out and not act like a bunch of teenage cavemen that just discovered their first boner.
    Last edited by Townson; 10-09-2016 at 8:53 AM.

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    ^^^^^^^^^^ Now that was awesome......^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ You summed it up right there.......... That's what I've been saying for years............ Since it became cool to be a biker.............

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    Haha an observant dude.

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    Top 10 CC post of all time!!

    I attended Barber way back in 2007 and I'd say I ran into at least half of the guys you described.

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    Nice summary! Did you happen to see these guys there?
    Last edited by DrFxr; 10-12-2016 at 6:07 AM.

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    I dunno, this looks like anthropology and psychology rolled into one! Damned astute observations , i'm sure. Freaks me out that we have a lot of similar assholes around the vintage bike scene in the UK, plus one- 'The Subject Matter Expert' usually a pompous little asshole with nothing else going on in his life,who if you're unfortunate enough to make even eye contact with will bore you stupid for the next hour with his encyclopedic knowledge of some obscure make.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DrFxr View Post
    Nice summary! Did you happen to see these guys there?
    Yeah I spied quite a few Ed Ventures, Rev Rangers and Captain Cruzerfaces lol.

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    Where's the dick head on the Grom represented????

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    I actually didn't see anyone on a grom believe it or not. There were a few there, but I never saw their owners.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Townson View Post
    I actually didn't see anyone on a grom believe it or not. There were a few there, but I never saw their owners.
    I'm always amazed when I see someone riding one of those clown bikes in regular traffic. Death wish.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BadMonkeyMW View Post
    I'm always amazed when I see someone riding one of those clown bikes in regular traffic. Death wish.
    I think they would be fun to bebop around town or take out on some semi-easy trails, but as far as riding them on the interstate, fuck that. My Vstar is an 1100, weighs roughly 650 lbs. And I was getting blown all over the road going to and from Barber's Saturday. But to be fair, the wind was blowing like a motherfucker in the afternoon.

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    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	rr168.jpg 
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ID:	72375 Sometimes this guide helps.

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    Quote Originally Posted by klondikekid64 View Post
    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	rr168.jpg 
Views:	160 
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ID:	72375 Sometimes this guide helps.
    Goddamn, I'm creeping up on cruiser status lol.

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    I think the Builders, like the vendors at the expo area, are bored out of their gourds and grateful for someone intelligent to talk to.

    The Vintage Japanese Motorcycle Club had a great turnout that gets larger every year and their co-location with the AMCA is conveniently next to the tent camping area.

    Many dirt bikes are from the vintage trials guys and IMO the rest are used as pit bikes cuz they are handier than street machines. I didn't notice more than a few loud ones though and this is my third year. If I had a small beater I'd bring it too. The guys riding Honda CTs with racks have the best setup. Some groups bring several little bikes on their car trailers.

    I might bring my hand truck next year since it'll fit on the trams. Swap meet was awesome as usual. I scored a clean, titled '75 Norton Commando frame for only $575.

    The museum is worth spending a full day for anyone who hasn't seen it.

    I didn't notice any Grommits either. I guess most visitors know you can buy a lot more motorcycle for three grand.

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    Quote Originally Posted by klondikekid64 View Post
    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	rr168.jpg 
Views:	160 
Size:	48.0 KB 
ID:	72375 Sometimes this guide helps.
    Hahaha, Is that Dual Sport guy holding a foot? Seems pretty accurate

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    Haha great stuff! Our swap spot was row N and there was a Grom next to us. Goofy little thing.... I stayed in the Panhead city spot most of the time. Didn't buy too much this year. My buddy I was with grabbed a few HD frames and a Pan, but the harley parts seemed way more scarce this year. Another excellent event nonetheless!!

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    It was my first time and it was incredible. Accurate description of the attendees Townson. I drove my van and ended up having to walk all my shit back to the parking lot cause I couldn't get on the tram.

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    I rode the trams everywhere lol. That place was alot bigger than I expected and I was damn grateful that I didn't have to cover all of that ground on foot. The entire event, from the swap meet to the museum etc. Was definitely worth the trip down there.

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    I was set up in the Swap Meet for 4 days so I saw a representation of each that you listed. Bravo. I don't get to venture out much until Sunday (although I was able to get my Sportster on the track Friday evening). Best Motorcycle Event going IMO - even with all the turds you have to deal with.

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    Most of these apply to most "events" Since my move to Daytona you can go to vintage car races, mc swap meets, car shows, Rolex 24, doesn't matter there is always Jabba on a scooter..always
    These fucks are like a 18 wheeler on a dead end street. The smaller the area the better.
    Usually with MRS Jabba behind. Saw these two in the pits at the Rolex 10 feet apart yelling at each other on Phones

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