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  1. #1
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    Default Tasteless joke thread

    A little boy comes home from school and tells his mother "mom, there are kids at school using words that I don't understand" mom says " what are the words?" Kid replies "pussy and bitch" his mother thinks about this for a moment and says " that's no big deal, pussy is like our cat mittens, and our dog Sasha is a female, so she's a bitch"
    Not quite satisfied with this answer he heads for the garage where his dad is working on his bike. He says "dad, what do the words pussy and bitch mean?"
    His dad considers this for a second and pulls a playboy down from the shelf, opens it to the centerfold, circles the pubic area with a marker and says "son, everything inside that circle is pussy" the kid thinks about this for a second and says "ok, but what's bitch?" His dad looks him deep in the eyes and says "everything outside of that circle."

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    Little Johnny was bored on summer break, so his mom tells him to go watch the guys build a house down the block. Johnny is gone all day and when he gets home, his mom asks him if he learned anything new. Johnny says- "First you put the mother fucking door up and the fucker won't fit, so you take that fucker down and shave a cunt hair off the bottom and see if the fucker fits." Mom is appalled and tells Johnny to go to his room and to wait until the father hears what he said. Dad gets home and the mom tells him what Johnny said. Dad goes up stairs and asks if it was true what he said. Johnny said yes. His dad says- " You need to be punished. Go outside and get me a switch". Johnny looks at him and says- "Fuck you, that is the electricians job."

  3. #3
    shovelwitch
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    Whats the hardest part in nailing a dead baby to a wall:
    Dusty's Dick

    Dusty loves twenty seven year olds, but only when there are 20 of them.

    Someone asked Dusty once what the worst part of raping a child was, he replied: "Getting the blood off the clown suit."

    What’s the difference between Dusty and acne? Acne doesn’t come on a boys face until he’s 13.

  4. #4
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    What's the difference between a joke and three cocks?

    Your mom can't take a joke.

  5. #5
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    Also, since we're making Little Johnny jokes:

    Little Johnny comes home from school early one day and hears a commotion upstairs. He heads up and opens the door to his parents' bedroom to see what's going on, and he spots his dad railing his mom from behind, pushing her face into the mattress. He looks up, sees Johnny and - without missing a stroke - gives Johnny a wink and motions for him to leave. Johnny backs out of the room and closes the door behind him.

    A few days later, Johnny's dad returns from work and hears the unmistakable sound of sex coming from upstairs. Thinking his wife is having an affair, he storms up the stairs, only to find Johnny in Grandma's room, ploughing into her from behind.

    'What the hell are you doing fucking Grandma?!?!' screams Johnny's dad. Johnny replies: 'Yeah! Not so fucking funny when it's your mom, is it?'

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    Default

    What did the SS soldier say to the black Jew ?


    .....get to the back of the oven.

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    Default

    What's the biggest difference between Show Class magazine and a sack of shit?


    The sack.

  8. #8
    thebcb
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    Quote Originally Posted by shovelwitch View Post
    Whats the hardest part in nailing a dead baby to a wall:
    #fuckdatniggadusty's Dick

    #fuckdatniggadusty loves twenty seven year olds, but only when there are 20 of them.

    Someone asked #fuckdatniggadusty once what the worst part of raping a child was, he replied: "Getting the blood off the clown suit."

    What’s the difference between #fuckdatniggadusty and acne? Acne doesn’t come on a boys face until he’s 13.
    fixed

  9. #9
    thebcb
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    Little Johnny and his grandpa are out on a boat fishing. Grandpa cracks open a beer and little Johnny says "Grandpa, can I have one of those?" Grandpa looks at him and says "Well Johnny, is your dick long enough to reach your ass?" "No..." Johnny replied. Grandpa smiles and says "Well there's your answer."

    After a little while grandpa pulls out a cigar and starts puffing away. Johnny says "Grandpa, can I have one of those?" Grandpa looks at him through the cloud and says "Well Johnny, is your dick long enough to reach your ass?" "No..." Johnny replied. Grandpa smiles and says "Well there's your answer."

    A little more time passes and the fish aren't biting, so grandpa pulls out a stack of hustlers and starts thumbing through the pages. Johnny says "Grandpa, can I look at one of those?" Grandpa doesn't even look at him and says "Well Johnny, is your dick long enough to reach your ass?" "UGGGGGGGHHHHHHH, No..." Johnny replied. Grandpa smiles and says "Well there's your answer."

    After a minute, Little Johnny pulls out a bag of gummy bears and starts snacking away. Grandpa looks up and says "Say Johnny, can I have some of those?" Little Johnny looks at him and says "Well Grandpa, is your dick long enough to reach your ass?" Grandpa smirks a little and says proudly "Why yes Johnny, it sure is!" Johnny smiles and with a mouth full of gummy bears shouts "Then go fuck yourself old man!"

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    How do you fit 100 people in a volkswagen ? Two germans in the front, three in the back, and ninety five jews in the ashtray.

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    What's harder to unload: a truck full of babies, or a truck full of bowling balls? Babies, because you cant stick a pitchfork into a bowling ball.

    What's red and sits in the corner? A baby chewing on razor blades.

    What's blue and sits in the corner? A baby playing with plastic bags.

    What's blue and hangs from a telephone wire? A baby that was run over by a snow blower.

  12. #12
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    whats the difference between jesus and a picture frame? it only takes one nail to hang a picture frame
    why doesn't jesus play hockey? he always gets nailed to the boards
    what's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porsche in my garage
    what's black and white and red all over? a nun falling down the stairs

  13. #13

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    What's the difference between Jesus and a Mexican?
    Jesus doesn't have a tattoo of a Mexican.

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    Guy comes home from work

    WOMAN!!!

    YES?

    TODAY WE'RE GOING TO HAVE SOME RAPE SEX!!

    NO FUCKING WAY!

    Thats the spirit!!

  15. #15
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    You know the saying "Safety is in numbers?"

    Tell that to the 6 Million Jews

  16. #16
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    A Chinese guy walk's into a bar. Black bartender is wiping down the bar. Chinese guy say's "hey nigger, get me a beer". Black guy says, "whoa man, you can't use that word it's hurtful". Chinese guy say's "oh sorry, I no say no more". Few minutes later Chinese guy say's "hey nigger get me another beer". Black guy say's "I told you that shit is hurtful, why don't you come around the bar and let me show you how it feels". So Chinese guy goes around the bar and starts wiping it down. Black guy say's " hey you chink eyed, rice eating, ching chang motherfucker get me a beer". Chinese guy looks up and say's" oh sorry, we no serve niggers here"!!!!!

  17. #17
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    What do you get when you cross a gay Eskimo with a black guy? A snow blower that won't work.

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    Anne is watching her son out the window. She starts getting worried about his behavior because every few minutes Billy eats a handful of Skittles, licks the cat and scoots a few feet down the sidewalk. After observing him do this about five times she goes outside and asks Lil billy about it. Little billy just looks up at her and tells her he is pretending to be a truck driver. Confused his mom asks how what he is doing is playing truck driver. He says dang mom don't you know anything? I'm popping pills, eating pussy and moving on down the road.

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    What's the difference between a Indian squaw and an Indian princess? A bottle of whiskey.... Did you hear the one about the two gay Irishmen? Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatric.

  20. #20
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    How do you circumcise a Indian? Kick his sister in the back of the head.

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