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I was only joking tall man, thanks me to god I am on no meds apart from the occasional spliff.
But seriously, why is it that if somebody honest (lets pretend I would have been) and says... I would love to know what its like to kill he/she is automatically outcast as a fucking psycopath.
I fucking guarantee you that half if not more of your Army and Marine personal joined the military for that exact reason.Comment
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Do you have facts on that?Comment
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It wasn't so much that you said you wanted to know what killing was like as much as how you said it. There was alot of detail and thought in it, plus the gun thing while getting a bj. I feel like you need some
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I guess I have seen to many of the "gore" videos to know what it looks like if somebody gets shot in the head and before somebody calls me a sick bastard know this, I don't enjoy watching videos like that but I find them fascinating, anybody who says they are not a tiny bit fascinated with death is a straight up liar of even worse one of these moral crusaders you know the once that say: "I cannot handle this shit, so I pretend it doesn't exist" type of guys.
I have made a choice a long time ago that I want to walk around with both eyes wide open, I am interested in anything the good the bad the ugly, the more fucked up it is, the least people want to know about it the more I want to see or read about it. Like Bug chasing, I find that shit fascinating, I know a lot of people that refuse that it exists, but it does, and I feel better knowing that I know it does and knowing I can handle that knowledge of some faggot putting his hole arm in somebodies asshole to scrub the inner parts of his intestine with a toothbrush to increase the chances of the guy getting infected with HIV once he is getting assraped by a couple aids infected pos leather wearing bears at a later stage.Comment
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That's pretty old school lol today you go to www.theyXX.com and GoreXX.com, its actually pretty crazy what you can see legally if you just want to.Comment
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I understand what you're saying. I've watched every fucked up video on the internet as well, but in my case I find them disturbing. Like that Dagestan beheading video, or the Dnepropetrovsk maniacs video. It's a morbid curiosity thing. But I don't see them and think, "man, I've got to get in on that." I just couldn't do that particular brand of shit to another person, even if I hated them. But visceral sensations are what life is all about, which is why I have to watch the videos. The horror...the horror.Comment
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x1000
Exactly how I feel.
I took a break after the Dagestan video, I remember clearly when the first HD video from Iraq came out were some Insurgent fucks beheaded a few Nepalese cooks, never before was there a video of a beheading so clear with that horrible sound because he let him bleed out, took a break after that as well.
But there is a morbid curiosity that makes it hard not to watch them
My line are kids, If I see - Video of Syrian kids bombed and dead I am outathere.
I am sure you get a bit desensitized I also think I got a lot more cynical and untrustworthy of the news and information that people like to throw around, but it made me a lot more careful as well.
For instance, 10 years back, I wouldn't have shied away from a good fight, now maybe because I am older but also because I have seen first hand what damage a knife can do to you I just back off if I can.Comment
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I can't watch shit like that. I've been present for actual bloody violent death and don't need to see it again. But I do like violent movies because not only do I know it's not real, I like to critique why it isn't realistic. Humans have an amazing amount of shit on the inside that leaks to the outside almost immediately. It's a smell you never forget. Odd thing is I enjoy hunting and animals don't react the same as humans at death, and don't have that weird smell either.Comment
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hmm, I don't know, maybe you have some trauma attached to your experience (deployment etc.). I haven't been deployed but I've seen some funky stuff during my time as a paramedic but I still don't mind watching them. I know the smell you talk about btw. I never had anybody talk about it.
Still better than the smell of the guy we had to pick up in a blackforest apartment who died in his sleep and stayed undetected for 1 month or so in his bed with his bedroom window tilted (hot summer in Blackforest). The smell stays with you like forever, its so hard to fight through instinct which is to "fuck that shit I'm out of here". I couldn't touch him and let the "older" guys handle him but even they were scared because he was so fucking bloated and at that stage flesh is just sliding off bones. I wasn't able to eat properly for weeks after that.
Watercorpse are fucking bad as well btw.
I love the job but hated when we got a call like that, not that it happened often.Comment
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X2, I've seen more bloody screaming deaths than I care to recall. I've seen the faces of death vids, but it's not the same. I never got used to the screaming, that's the worst thing for me. Most of what I've witnessed were car crashes, we lived on a really bad corner, blind, banked the wrong way, and you could just about count on at least a fatality a month. I watched my first man die at 8 years old. I don't know if it's just because I was 8, but that gave me a set of emotions that stuck with me, all that also made me realize that all this really is temporary, you ain't going to make it.
Live it up sucker
Your days are numbered
No one knows the number
And it's already lower than it was yesterday.Comment
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