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Wino ridin cross town on a city bus. Wino is broke, sober and hurtin, suddenly Wino sees a little old lady sittin a few seats up and intermittently she removes a half pint size bottle from her purse, puts it up to her mouth, and returns it to her purse. Wino says , I'm gonna get some of that. So Wino edges up seat by seat until the guy sittin by the little old lady leaves. Wino dives into her seat, reaches in her purse, grabs the bottle, and kills about half of it. Wino says, My god woman, thats the awfullest tasting shit ever, what was that? She says, I have tuberculosis and that was my spit up bottle.
Jesus is walkin down the road one day, and he runs acroos his old buddy moses. the two shoot the shit for a few, and moses says, "lets go fishin tomorrow, ill bring the wine" next day they meet up, hit the water, and the wine starts a flowin. Jesus say to moses," you still do that partin the water thing"? "sure" says moses, and he stands in the boat and holds his arms wide. the clouds turn dark, the wind starts blowin, and the seas part, givin moses the chance to grab some lunch. "nice" says Jesus. Moses asks, "what about you, young fella, you still do that walkin on the water thing"? "im Jesus" says Jesus. so he stands on the side of the boat, takes a step, and sinks straight to the bottom. ol moses jumps in, pulls him out. gets him in the boat and says, "what happened, man"? "i forgot about those holes in my feet" says J.
Q.Why do the scottish wear kilts? A. Because the sound of the zipper scares the sheep away. Q. How do you fit a 100 people in a VW? A. 2 germans in the front, 3 in the back, and 95 jews in the ashtray.
Has anyone played the michael brown drinking game...
You just stand there and take six shots
That's a "good" one lol
Here this one which you wouldn't be able to tell in Germany...
A bunch of Israeli tourists try to find their way to visit Auschwitz Concentration camp to visit the place were so many Jews lost their life's during WW2, the bus driver pulls over and asks an old man for directions.
Bus driver: Hi, I have a bus load of tourists from Israel who want to visit Auschwitz, any chance you could point me into the right direction?
Old man: Well, you stay on this road and you take the next right than right again and last left, you should see the big gates, but I am not sure if they are still operational.
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