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  1. #1
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    Default Considering to stop riding (found out my wife is pregnant)

    Long story short. My wife and I have been trying to have a kid for almost 4 years now and after finding out she's 5 weeks pregnant I'm strongly considering selling my chop. I'm torn. I know the dangers and risks I take riding without a helmet and no front brakes but even if I were to change that I still don't think it's worth the risk. I absolutely love motorcycles and hate to stop but wow has this situation got me thinking. Anyone else go through a similar situation?

  2. #2
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    yeah i just had a kid. we both go on our first ride together in a few weeks. i told her i was gonna sell the bike and she told me dont be a pussy. she's right. dont be a pussy. the kid will be fine. ride with caution and dont drink and ride. a front brake is a must for me, i had two close calls in two weeks one almost included me running over a cop that had someone pulled over on the side of the highway. i run brakes now.

  3. #3
    McGrizzle
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    Agreed. Ride sensible. And like 3 million other dudes I'd love to run no front brake because it looks so damn sexy to me. Which I would on a show bike, but shit that hits the streets with any regularity, no thanks. Too many fuck sticks out there I have to avoid. Plus I wouldn't have the fun I do on these back roads without my front

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by cardinalgrayheart105 View Post
    I absolutely love motorcycles and hate to stop but wow has this situation got me thinking. Anyone else go through a similar situation?
    View it objectively and ask yourself: If I'm killed or incapacitated, can my wife raise our child alone? How will they be provided for, both financially and personally, in the event of my death? Do I want my child to grow up with me, and experience the child/parent relationship, or am I OK having someone else fill that role? How does my wife feel about it? I'm betting this ain't what you wanted to hear, but you asked and it's your decision and it's got a big impact. I'm 65 and been through it.

    Bob

  5. #5
    xllance
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    Damn man. If you're that skittish maybe you shouldn't be riding in the first place. I don't mean to sound like a dick but there's no reason to stop living just because you have a kid. There's going to be times when life sucks and hopping on your chop may be the only therapy. Suck it up and carry on with your life. Good luck and congrats !

  6. #6
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    Riding less any accessory which improves performance is questionable but millions of riders don't get greased and live to ripe old ages.

    A compromise is reasonable. For example stopping performance is MEASURABLY vastly better with effective front brakes. Physics takes long, steamy, dysenteric shits all over "I'm cool" in that respect. Personal preference is fine but any contentions that performance is comparable should have DATA to back them up. Empirical proof, not "me like, herp derp". Science and engineering are why we have motorcycles in the first place.

    Likewise helmets can not only protect against death (which if you are insured could actually be a bonus for your survivors!) but against the very real threat of TBI from a gentler unhelmeted tap. Traumatic Brain Injury is no joke, while helmetless riding is 90% fashion statement unless your cervical spine is already fucked up. (Mine is, but a modern full face is balanced and ventilates well even in hot SC summers.)

    I've seen G.I.s with TBI. Suicide (a shorter life is all that means) is literally a better choice which is why a fair number choose it and so would I. Maxillofacial injuries don't look like much fun either.
    Helmets work though I oppose helmet laws on grounds of human rights.

    We all die. You, me, yer kid to be, and everybody else we love, hate or never meet. Dying begins at conception. You cannot cling permanently to life.

    Another Motorcycle Safety Foundation instructor I worked with in the Air Force had a wife and kid. He still rode, but he always rode alert, kept sharp by teaching, and was comfortable with that.
    He had a deliberate plan for risk management.

    How do you ride, what is your risk management plan, and what in that plan could usefully change to make riding a reasonable risk vs benefit activity?

  7. #7
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    Naturally you have to listen to your gut, your heart, the voice in your head, etc, etc. No one else can tell you how to live your life.

    But here's the way I look at it for myself- People die and get fucked up everyday doing all sorts of stuff. Workplace accidents, driving cars, falling off ladders while cleaning roof gutters or hanging christmas lights, slipping in the shower, etc, etc, etc. And then of course there's always diseases like cancer, etc.

    My philosophy is this- Denying yourself the things you enjoy most in life in the hopes of living longer is not a life worth living.

    My advice, whatever you decide, get good life and disability insurance. Because even if you never ride again, there are plenty of other ways to die or get crippled. And if you choose to keep riding, it doesn't hurt to wear a good helmet and ride with front brakes.

    Good luck in your choice. And congratulations on your impending fatherhood. Good luck with that too.
    Last edited by EVILBLACKSABRE; 08-29-2014 at 6:47 PM.

  8. #8
    NoGodsNoMasters
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    Congrats on the father thing I'm 5 months a father myself. My personal philosophy is to carry good disability insurance, ride with a helmet, and wear decent pants, gloves and my leather jacket. On my build I switched from a Springer with no front brake to a set of extended tubes with a brake. Just have to figure out what is acceptable risk to you.

  9. #9
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    I'm a father of 3 (18,17 &15) & been on 2 wheels for years. If it's your time it's your time whether your blasting down the blacktop or sitting in the easy chair. Be smart and ride safe and you'll be a "cool dad" with a chopper!

  10. #10
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    AD&D policy (accidental death & dismemberment). Different than a normal life insurance policy. It covers death from "accidents" and also pays out nicely if you lose a limb or paralysis. It's dirt cheap and pays way more than life insurance. I think I pay around $8/mo for a million dollar policy. It also covers my wife and son if the same were to happen to them.

    Keep riding.

  11. #11
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    The right insurance is the solution if you keep riding. I myself would be lost not being on 2 wheels it's all I know.
    Always go with "your" gut feeling only you know you nothing else matters.

  12. #12
    Cisco726
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    You could get killed crossing the street. Are you gonna stop crossing streets?

  13. #13
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    I try to tell my fiance that every time I ride. Death waits for no one. When it's your time, it's your time. I could be killed sitting in a fast food place as a car smashes through the window I was sitting next to (happened to me). Or be killed getting the mail from my mail box along my busy street (happened to someone locally).
    It's up to you in the end. I can't see myself ever not riding, even if it is just short trips around town. But my father put his bikes away when I was a kid, and I may at some point in my life as well.

    Wear a helmet, add a front brake, and be mindful when you are out.

    Congrats on the kiddo.

  14. #14
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    Exposure and risk.
    I stopped riding for some years because my daughter was real young, and I was good and broke. She is 18 and in college now, and I'm back. Thru my job I have 60% disability and buy all of the life insurance they will sell me. With all that I am still careful where and how I ride. Planning on going to Lebanon Valley Drag strip today, controlled environment, Snell helmet, no deer to hit. Your life, your decisions.

  15. #15
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    I bought my first bike when I had my first son, trust me you HAVE to have something only for you when you have kids. 99% will now always kid related and it's important no even vital that you make sure you recharge your batteries with something that you love. A bike is perfect in that sense. You don't understand right now how much work kids are if you want to get them right.

    And in regards to danger there are way more dangerous things you will continue doing after you become a father.

  16. #16
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    You could stop riding, but start building instead. Just a suggestion, sell the bike, and use the funds to build another bike. Stick to the budget though, as any unneccesary spending will be questioned. Could be a good compromise, coming from the father of three boys. All of whom know ride dirt bikes! My middle son even works with me at my shop.
    A mechanic mentor once told me never to get rid of the two wheeled parking spot in your garage. Always keep it occupied with something, even if it is a "lesser" bike. Once that parking space is gone, it's that much harder to get it back.
    As a parent it is important to maintain your own identity, and have a time just to yourself. But keep it balanced. Babies sleep a lot (just not when you want them to). So you will have lots of time for a build.

  17. #17
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    When I bought a stock `67 FLH bagger it`s front brake was useless. Rode it like that for a couple years. Back then they had a drum brake on front and all it was good for was holding at a stop sign with a hill.

  18. #18
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    Hell yeah it's worth it.

    Just ride sensibly, use a helmet and who knows, maybe one day you and the kid will wnjoy bikes together.

  19. #19
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    My daughter just turned 14 months old, and not riding was something that I considered for a very brief moment. My wife said I was being silly, and that I've always been a relatively cautious rider. I don't really speed, I always wear a full face, jacket, gloves, and boots, and I have a great insurance policy. To me it's not worth diminishing the quality of life in fear of something that's going to happen to all of us inevitably. Be smart, wear good gear, set your bike up to stop if needed in an emergency, and have fun.

  20. #20
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    When the wife was preggers that just meant she couldn't ride as much. If you gotta spend your life in fear or planing for disasters what is the point? And how can you be of any value to the ones you love.
    Just my opinion!
    Dusty

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