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  1. #1
    Capino
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    Default Chop Cult Strike Team

    Are you tired of sitting behind your computer screen getting fat and sloppy? Now there is a new force for Global Good. The Chop Cult Strike Team need YOU! Yes you.

    With this new team Chopper Injustices will be rectified and justice will be meted out!!!

    RESPONDING QUICKLY AND DECISIVELY
    Where chaos looms, the Few emerge. Chop Cult Strike Team move toward the sounds of tyranny, injustice and despairówith the courage and resolve to silence them.


    A FINISH LINE. AND A STARTING POINT.
    For twelve arduous weeks you are known and treated as a Chopper recruit. It is only after every demand has been met that a senior Chopper instructor will stand eye to eye and address you, and your platoon, as a Chop Cult Strike Team Member .

    OPERATING MISSIONS
    Some may think that Justice arbitrarily handed out by The Chop Cult Supreme Court for seemingly minor infractions may not require a death sentence but here at Chop Cult Strike Team we follow a different code of ethics.
    Oppressive Chopper regimes. Natural disasters. Constrained natural resources. There are many threats facing our Chopper way of Life.
    There is only one warrior class uniquely prepared to face them down: Chop Cult Strike Team.
    From the way we are trained to the way we're organized and equipped, from our warrior mindset to our
    warfighting skill set, Chop Cult Strike Team Members are warriors of the highest order.

    UNIFORMS

    You will be issued
    1) Pendelton Blouse (Sleeves MAY be rolled up !!!!)
    2) Dickies Trousers
    3) Special limited edition R.A.T. (Rough All Terrain) Vans


    STRATEGIC WARRIOR

    Before you wear this uniform, you will prove you belong in it. When facing crisis in troubled spots around the globe, it is the good judgment of our Moderators that must prevail. Those who comprise our ranks will know how to interact with different cultures and customs. They will be able to take the right action at the right time without direct supervision. They will be willing to make decisions most aren't capable of. This isn't a job for mostóit's the charge of the Few.

    FIRST TO FIGHT

    There is a reason why our gear is lightweight, our equipment is easy to move, and why our forces are forward deployed, even in peacetime. The reason is found in our hymn, our training and our ethos. Chop Cult Strike Team are First to Fight.

    EQUIPMENT

    To maintain the flexibility and mobility required to rapidly deploy whenever and wherever the Chop Cult calls, the Chop Cult Strike Team cannot be weighed down with excessive gear, but every Strike Team Member is equipped with what is needed to carry the day. It is our middle-weight fighter model that makes the Chop Cult Strike Team the internets force of choice in crisis response situations. From our Pre-70 Big twin Magneto fired Harleys to our Rolling Heavy Econoline Vans , Chop Cult Strike Team Members are uniquely and ideally equipped to get to the conflict fastóand take control upon arrival.

  2. #2
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    Wtf did I just read

  3. #3
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    WARNING WARNING Right Wing Extremist Alert!!! Launch HLS Drones immediately
    to quell dissent!!! Dispatch SWAT, TSA, & ATF squads accordingly!!!

  4. #4
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    After reading that, all that keeps going through my mind, and at the risk of capino kicking over my bike!!

    BRAAP is running around with a fully engorged Justice Boner!!!

    CRFyou is looking to give somebody a reach around!!

    And RUBMAN is eagerly hoping to get a reach around!!!


  5. #5
    Jetblack
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    Easy to judge a community behind a keyboard and look for stereotypes, go to some rides / runs / events meet and talk to members in person get a real world perspective... then bash away if you can.

  6. #6
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    Ha, I find some humor in there. Not sure if I'm laughing at the right stuff but then I rarely do.

    After hazzard county, I'd say to change the dress stereotypes to redwing boots and denim vests....but there wasn't really any one majority type of person.

    Anyway, me me me, I want to join. I'm not behind a keyboard, but I am ready to stop fucking around on rooftops such as the BofA building downtown doing leak repairs and start fighting for truth, justice and the 33 way!

  7. #7
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    I'm gonna skip all that bullshit and order everything online. That way I can be an uber poser.

  8. #8
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    I, for one, found this shit extremely funny haha.

    Can we get like, a ChopCult A-Team going? Me, Capino, CRFYou and Jetblack -- with special appearances by Braaaaaaap and Leslie "Lee" Herrick.

    I call Murdock. Y'all can sort the rest out. Capino's the biggest, so he gets to be Mr. T. Good score, man!

  9. #9
    Capino
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rubman View Post
    I, for one, found this shit extremely funny haha.

    Can we get like, a ChopCult A-Team going? Me, Capino, CRFYou and Jetblack -- with special appearances by Braaaaaaap and Leslie "Lee" Herrick.

    I call Murdock. Y'all can sort the rest out. Capino's the biggest, so he gets to be Mr. T. Good score, man!
    I really wanted to be Faceman😢

  10. #10
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    alright alright. fine. dave is faceman. crfyou is mr. t... because he pities the fool. OH MY GOD, AND JETBLACK GETS TO BE COLONEL, BECAUSE HE'S THE OLDEST. holy shit, this worked out so ironically fucking perfect.

  11. #11
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    We'll need an Alpha team for special ops and a Bravo team to take care of our old ladies when Alpha is on an op.

    We don't want Jody to get in there. I'm team leader on Bravo and I'll take real good care of the chicks. It's a one man team, so I won't need any heinous boots crowding my radio channel at home.

    And this shit ain't Cross Fit. So shut the fuck up about our ops to maintain OPSEC.



    If you ride a sportster, you're gonna have to get a waiver from the captain to enlist.

  12. #12
    Allen
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    Default

    There's already thousands of active members...

    HERE

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Allen View Post
    There's already thousands of active members...

    HERE
    That was way funnier

  14. #14
    Jetblack
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    Constantly in a van with you guys? Perhaps with an endless supply of scotch so I can be perpetually passed out in the back. I'll wake up after any shenanigans and mutter my catch phrase "I love it when a plan don't work." take a shot then go back to sleep.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by jorgun View Post

    BRAAP is running around with a fully engorged Justice Boner!!!

    CRFyou is looking to give somebody a reach around!!

    And RUBMAN is eagerly hoping to get a reach around!!!

    Holy fuck I just about spewed my beer!

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rubman View Post
    I, for one, found this shit extremely funny haha.

    Can we get like, a ChopCult A-Team going? Me, Capino, CRFYou and Jetblack -- with special appearances by Braaaaaaap and Leslie "Lee" Herrick.

    I call Murdock. Y'all can sort the rest out. Capino's the biggest, so he gets to be Mr. T. Good score, man!
    'the fuck you doing lumping my name in there with the faggot thief?? i pity the fool that associates my name with Lesliebian.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rubman View Post
    I, for one, found this shit extremely funny haha.

    Can we get like, a ChopCult A-Team going? Me, Capino, CRFYou and Jetblack -- with special appearances by Braaaaaaap and Leslie "Lee" Herrick.

    I call Murdock. Y'all can sort the rest out. Capino's the biggest, so he gets to be Mr. T. Good score, man!
    That sounds more like the cast of Queer eye for the straight guy........

  18. #18
    Trinda
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    Default

    I have no idea what's going on with this. Are you looking for more moderators or something?

  19. #19
    Knuckleduster
    Guest

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    Quote Originally Posted by Trinda View Post
    I have no idea what's going on with this. Are you looking for more moderators or something?
    Think about where this is posted for a second, .......................this IS the JunkPile!

  20. #20
    ARBY
    Guest

    Default

    Gotta be bath salts makin' a comeback.

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