Here's a story for y'all junkpilers... (its a long one)
A few weeks ago, I fucked one of my 25 year old coworkers in her car outside a birthday party for another coworker. The next week, we met up at another coworker party at a bowling alley and I get stonewalled because she's on the rag (see my other junkpile post).
The next day at work, this fucking hot ass 19 yr old girl from another department makes a move on me and tells me we should hang out. FUCK YEAH! The gods have a hardon for my awesomeness and bless me with pussy falling from the sky.
We text back and forth for a few days and make plans to hang out after a work party the next week. That day, I was working on another show and got off early at 11 pm so I could go pick her up. I crack open a beer and ask her how she plans on making it my place. Like any 19 yr old around free booze, she's an incoherent, indecisive little cunt so I crack open a second beer as I have an annoying conversation on the phone with her and the sound of 300 drunk coworkers at a club in Hollywood. She decides to stay till the end of the party at 1 am.
Her drunk shenanigans piss me the hell off so I put down my third beer and go buy a pack of smokes. She doesn't smoke but at this point I don't give a fuck. As Im at the gas station, she texts me and tells me she needs a ride home. The club is 25 minutes away and she lives another hour farther from that. Pissed off as hell, I decide to go and take the opportunity to give her a piece of my mind and drop her off at a bus stop if she decides to go home.
I get to the party, and as you might expect, she's taking fucking forever to come out and find me parked across the street. As I'm waiting, those two beers and a half beers I drank earlier make their way down and are ready to come out. Left with no choice, I stand between the curb and my truck, put my hands up on the hood, and let loose. I piss all over my wheel and it flows down the street past my door.
The girl finally comes out... barefoot, still "drunk", and complaining that she has to find her friend before we leave. I get her to wait in the passenger seat and she narrowly avoids stepping in my piss. She notices I'm pissed as hell so she grabs me around the neck, pulls me in, and starts sucking face. Damn, she's good at it...
Her friend finally comes out and meets us. My girl's shit is in this friend's car... 20 minutes away at the hotel where we have an office. The friend gives us the car keys, pulls me aside, tells me to take the girl back to her place, do whatever I need to do, and leave the keys outside on a ledge. Not a bad friend, eh?
Me and the 19 yr old chick leave and decide there's no fucking way we're gonna fuck at her friends house, so we go to the hotel, get her shit from the car, and leave the key at the front desk. We drive the half hour back to my house and get there around 2:30 in the morning. Clothes come off pretty quick and
Hooray. At 4 am I roll over and get ready to go to sleep. I'm thirsty but tired as fuck so I grab the half a beer off my desk. It's only 3 hours old and a decent beer so it doesnt taste too bad. I finish it off and pull the covers up... and the girl's phone rings.
Remember her friend?? Yeah, well she just got to her apartment and is standing outside freezing. I guess we missed the memo about getting her HOUSE keys from her car and dropping them off. Great... time to get up again.
I throw on a cutoff, a trucker hat, and pajamas and give my chick one of my shirts and roll out. A half hour later at 5 am, we walk into the lobby of the hotel looking like two alabama cousins who just made a whole litter of incest children. Walking in, to my right is the concierge and to the left, three seated people facing away from me. I quickly recognize them... they're my coworkers... and one of them is the 25 year old I fucked then stopped talking to just a week before.
We approach the counter and I'm trying not to flip a shit. There's no hiding what I was just doing. I keep my voice to a whisper and tell the 19 yr old that I don't wanna see my dumbass coworkers. She gets it and does her best to stay out of sight, but the concierge is confused and I have to explain what I'm talking about. Every second that goes by is another second closer to a very awkwards meeting of the conquests...
We get the key and I all but run out the front door. This is made all the more difficult by the fact that I'm starting to develop a SERIOUS case of blue balls. As you may recall, I had a few drinks that night and when you've got a rubber on that's a recipe for a clogged drain. We get out without any issue and I get the hell away from that place as fast as I can.
As we drive the half hour to the friend's house, I'm developing some serious problems. I drive a pickup and the roads here blow, making for a very uncomfortable ride for me and my nuts. Finally the chick notices that I'm not doing so well and I confess that I've got a serious case of blueballs. She offers to help, but I know that at this point it's a delicate one man job.
We finally drop off the key and start heading back to my place. At this point, I've been up for 24 hours so I'm tired as fuck and have a serious problem with my junk that's moving into my stomach and making me nauseous. We're taking the freeway back to my place and I can already feel myself falling asleep as I get closer to home.
Speeding down the empty freeway, I spot my exit and move over to get off. It's 5:30 and I'm fucking exhausted. As I cancel the turn signal, the blood suddenly rushes from my head and bullets of sweat drip down my body. I fall backwards into my seat... I'm starting to black out.
All I can tell the girl next to me is "I'm starting to pass out... I'm gonna pass out" as I fight to keep myself concious and the car on the road. Knowing the end is near, I blast through the red light at the end of the exit and pull off onto the side of the road. Parked for the moment, I'm losing the battle and start getting delirious. The girl puts her hands on my head and neck to check my temperature but I only feel like she's drowning me. I shove her away and scream "I NEED SOME FUCKING SPACE!"
I pop open the door to get some air and lean my head out into the street as cars go whizzing by. I look at the ground and my entire body goes into a massively painful dry heave several times. Finally, the dam bursts and I puke. I look down... and all I see is that damn half a beer I had. I turn back into my seat and stay there for a few minutes with the air on full blast. I feel myself going back to the tired, blueballed state I was in and decide I'm ok to go the last mile home.
We get home and I send her to bed so I can take care of a few things. I go in the bathroom and turn on the shower and realize I gotta shit. I take a shit, brush my teeth, hop in the shower, and fail to get anywhere with my relief efforts. I give up and get out of the shower to dry myself off. I walk into the kitchen, grab an icepack for my nuts, then go to my room and passed out next to this chick.
oh BTW, she still fucked me again in the morning.