Beautiful fucking day today, kinda hot for the beginning of May (90*) in Ohio.
So anyways.. i was riding my bike today, in town, sweating my balls off doing about 40-45
minding my own business, when out of nowhere this big juicy ass bug decides it would be cool to fly right into my face. Of course i do paint quite a large target with my giant fucking head, but come on! I didn't actually see the bug, but i know it was juicy because when it hit me, it covered the whole left side of my sun glasses with guts and it splashed on my nose and face... i think some of it got on my lip too. Rant over,
...it's amazing the damage they can do! Back in my sport bike days I was tearing down the highway on my Ninja and took a fucking bumble bee right in the throat...it was like getting hit with a fastball, couldn't breath and had to pull over to the side for a bit. Physics eh, mass X speed = pain!
We've had an unusually warm and wet spring here in Indiana, and they are really bad this year. I got hit by some ping pong ball-sized mutant last week. Looked like I got hit with a water balloon full of mustard.
Here in South Louisiana we have "Love bugs". If your not familiar with them, they are little black bugs that serve absolutely no fucking purpose and nothing eats them because they are highly acidic or some shit like that. They will fuck your shit up, eat the paint of your gas tanks and hood of your vehicles if you don't scrub them off. They only come out for a few months out of the year, but during that time you can't hardly ride due to the millions of love bugs swarming the roads. FUCK LOVE BUGS!!!!!
Love bugs are pretty bad here in Florida as well. I keep a bandana tucked in the liner of my helmet for when they come out. Or for when I need to rob a train.
I had something large in my Biltwell a few weeks ago. I had left it on the bike outside and didn't check it before I threw it on, hopped on the interstate and whatever it was found it's way into my ear. Was punching the side of my helmet trying to get it out and couldn't get my fingers in there. Had to ride like that for a couple minutes feeling it and hearing it buzzing in my ear hole till I could pull over.
Haha, had my helmet on my toolbox today covered in bugs asses, a fly lands on it and starts eating. I just found that funny, kinda like when a farmer feeds the hogs leftover pork.
Had a bee sneak into my helmet last weekend. I watched it walk across the shield and thought, "this bug isn't fazed by the wind at all.." Realized it was INSIDE the helmet when it buzzed around and bumped into my glasses! I had to summon all my cool to stop by the side of the road and not go nuts like chris farley and david spade did in the movie tommy boy.
I had to summon all my cool to stop by the side of the road and not go nuts like chris farley and david spade did in the movie tommy boy.
Hahaha. Reminds me of a bee story my father in law told me from back in the 70s. He didn't keep his cool. He said the fucker stung him in the head rolling down the road at about 60, had it slowed down to about 25 as he went sliding across a gravel parking lot laying it down and flailing about like a schizophrenic with one too many voices in his head. He finally got the helmet off and notice a local Buford T. Justice type laughing his ass of in his patrol car.
Fuck a bunch of yellow jackets, bees its one and done, wasps might get you a couple times but those god damned yellow jackets make africanized bees look like a trip to the petting zoo. They will bite and sting at the same time, and not just one or two times but over and over again till you either kill them or some how manage to run fast enough to get away. Their bites aren't like most bugs that nibble on you these fucks eill tear out chunks of MEAT not just skin.
Here in South Louisiana we have "Love bugs". If your not familiar with them, they are little black bugs that serve absolutely no fucking purpose and nothing eats them because they are highly acidic or some shit like that. They will fuck your shit up, eat the paint of your gas tanks and hood of your vehicles if you don't scrub them off. They only come out for a few months out of the year, but during that time you can't hardly ride due to the millions of love bugs swarming the roads. FUCK LOVE BUGS!!!!!
X2...it's getting to be love bug season around here. Fuck love bugs, fuck em with an AIDs dick!
I ate one last night! I usually ride with a face shield, but wanted to show off my vintage helmet that I relined and just had amber KD's on. Rode by forest preserves, didn't think my mouth was open and the darn thing nearly choked me. Stuck in my throat, tried coughing it out, but by then it was too late. So I did the inevitable...
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