Holy shit.. This thread.
When I was in middle school i was cutting my hedges with the electric trimmer. My old man has a bad back, so when it comes to stepping on a ladder, i was a little more agile than him. He didn't want to let me do it, but I told him that i was big enough to do the job right.
well i step up on the ladder and start cutting away, everything is going smoothly. every now and again i clear some of the shit out of the blades, just to make sure it keeps cutting alright. about 15 minutes in i go to clear some of the shit from the blade when the ladder decides it's going to shift (the ground was a little soft, i guess?) anyway, i panicked, hit the button, and tore up two of my fingers REAL good.
my dad starts freaking out because i'm bleeding everywhere, meanwhile i don't think i've ever been so quiet in my life. I was just like, "oh, this is not good, this is NOT good."
we sped off to the hospital to get my shit stitched up. blade took me right down to the bone. i sat in the ER two hours waiting for a doctor.
Here's the kicker:
when I got stitched up, there was no actual cut. it was just a jumbled mess of torn of flesh. So the doctor was doing her best to stitch it up, but there really was no actual way to go about the mess. and in order to get in there, she stick me with those needles that numbs your shit up, and had to strap my fingers down because i guess the stuff she used to numb them also accidentally made them curl up? anyway, she's stitching along, and when she finishes, she realizes that she left a little piece of meat/tendon/vein/whatever sticking out.. my dad and i see it and start looking at it, and before we can comment she takes the needles and just jabs it into my finger, pressing the meat/whatever back inside my finger. i remember looking at my dad and him saying, "holy shit - did you feel that?" i didn't feel squeamish throughout the entire ordeal, but right then and there i almost lost my fuckin cookies.
whatever. kept me from holding a pen for 2 weeks. and in 8th grade, that's a major victory