D-Bags Say the Darndest Things

[hanger]

I work with this electrical engineer, at least he thinks he is......never finished a fuckin project in the three years I've worked with him. He has a 99 RoadGlide and claims to have run with the Hells Angels in Arizona but can't even work on his own bike and when talking motorcycles makes a complete ass of himself...........he goes on and on running his mouth about Harleys and knows as much as someone who wishes they had a bike. Every time he starts spouting off I always ask him "Did you learn that when you ran with the Angels?". They would have beat his ass for being a DOUCHE BAG! What a TOOL!!

[TwoSheds]

I stop at the local dealer and there is a fella getting off his (this happened years ago) XR-1000 and I notice that it has a gas tank of the wrong color of the bike and a stock 883 decal on it. I say "what happened to your gas tank" he says 'I fuckin dropped a tool box on it in my garage and it is at the painter/body guy getting fixed, but I still wanted to ride so I got this 883 tank at a garage sale for 10 bucks"

After my business is complete, I come out and there are two rubes standing next to this XR and one of them says to the other
"Wow how much work went into that 883 to make it look like that?"

[Fr0zenbiker]

COuld not guess how many times idiots ask me how I ride with ape hangers. Also used to get all the bikers ask about my sporty which is a wideglide. I bet u could put a peanut tank on a BMW and people would call it a sportster.

[Grantman]

I used to think it was funny when people would call my (IH) Sporty a Shovel, but we have a new winner. Coming out of the grocery store today, some douche is telling his girlfriend that my 883C is "One clean Panhead". How the fuck anyone can mistake an Evo Sporty for a Panhead is beyond me.

[Guest]

I work with this electrical engineer, at least he thinks he is......never finished a fuckin project in the three years I've worked with him. He has a 99 RoadGlide and claims to have run with the Hells Angels in Arizona but can't even work on his own bike and when talking motorcycles makes a complete ass of himself...........he goes on and on running his mouth about Harleys and knows as much as someone who wishes they had a bike. Every time he starts spouting off I always ask him "Did you learn that when you ran with the Angels?". They would have beat his ass for being a DOUCHE BAG! What a TOOL!!

It's interesting how someone that thinks they know just a little more than the next person, can think of someone else as a tool. There's always someone that knows a lil more than the next person, that thinks they know it all... could be you or could be them, hell it might be someone else... because there's always someone that knows a tad more... so that's a fun game of nonsense to get caught up in... if I were you, I wouldn't worry so much about what he is saying or not doing... we all make our own beds, so best stop being the bouncing quarter police.

p.s. Sonny throws events that are open to everyone to attend and ride, not just patched 81, his last birthday was an open ride...

[Ramzilla]

We had a pretty day Monday so I decided to go hit the trout creek on my bike. So I pull up to the gas station and am filling up. I see this guy eyeballing my fishing pole zip tied to the sissy bar. So he saunters up and says
"hey you going fishing?"
"yep"
"On a motorcycle?"
"No I thought I might get off of the bike to fish I'm just using it to get me there"
About that time I hear some ladies voice behind me saying "And there's your sign"
I'm not sure if they were together or she was just some random chick but either way she straight burned the guy. I hopped on my scoot and blasted out giggling like a school girl.

[Magnificentbastard]

not bike related and I cannot remember if I talked about this before...

This was in a US Company in Ireland
Guy at the water cooler at work desperately trying to impress two pretty co workers.

Him: The US Army banned the usage of shotguns during combat
She 1: Really?!?
She 2: Why?
Him: They are considered too deadly....

My face when I walked past him

[FooDog]

The guy isn't a douchebag.....I like the guy but I thought this was funny.

When I pick up my kid from school there are few people I'll stand next to and even fewer I talk to. One guy is OK and he rides so we usually talk about some upstate roads or some new GPS/cell phone/coffee cup holder he got while we wait for our kids. One day he tells me he wants to build a custom bike....naturally I mention the 883 I was working on and he says "oh man, did you get the new Harley catalog.....they got some real neat stuff in there, you should check it out" I kinda laughed and told him it wasn't that kind of bike.

[Guest]

I was walking my roller down the sidewalk to the carwash a couple of blocks away. I stopped at a crosswalk to wait on a red and this guy stops in a truck and rolls down the window and yells out "You just get her running?!?".......looks great!!!.....? I'm standing there with no motor, no transmission, not even gas in the tank much less a witty reply. I just wanted what he was smoking.

[Hyrum]

I was walking my roller down the sidewalk to the carwash a couple of blocks away. I stopped at a crosswalk to wait on a red and this guy stops in a truck and rolls down the window and yells out "You just get her running?!?".......looks great!!!.....? I'm standing there with no motor, no transmission, not even gas in the tank much less a witty reply. I just wanted what he was smoking.

Thats just funny. I literally laughed out loud.

[bohica2xo]

Some hilarious shit in this thread.

I have a little rattletrap that I use for quick trips. I live less than 6 miles from work, so it gets ridden. I take it to the hardware store, and abandon it in any parking spot. There is always a D-Bag waiting...

"Wow! What year is that?" uh, hard to say. "How much of it is Original?" All of it. I bent the tubes, welded the frame, made the forks made the tank... "But the engine - that's from like 1915 right?"

I lean toward older styles - my first bike was a 1925 JD. But this bike is clearly not like anything else on the road. I still get "I had one just like that. Topped out around 60 but was fun"

Here is the machine:




I built it to tinker with the flexi-car geometry. It has a 114cc lawnmower engine and struggles to 30mph. Here in NV it is a moped. No tags, no insurance required. Yes the bicycle pedals work. Which brings me to this one

"Holy Crap! Original pedals! That bike must be worth a fortune!" Uh dude, give me 1500 bucks and you can take it with you. Give me a minute to get my shit out of the box.

Sigh. they never have the cash.

B

[Spade115]

lol, Looks damn good anyways man lol

[Pendulum]

I was walking my roller down the sidewalk to the carwash a couple of blocks away. I stopped at a crosswalk to wait on a red and this guy stops in a truck and rolls down the window and yells out "You just get her running?!?".......looks great!!!.....? I'm standing there with no motor, no transmission, not even gas in the tank much less a witty reply. I just wanted what he was smoking.

Dude probably rolled off thinking "Man, I just clowned that poor loser!"

[Guest]

Ha what ever makes him feel better, mo fuggah had 3 teeth left, and a truck with a donut for a rear tire to his name. I genuinely feel like he was seeing/hearing shit.

[AlbertaFarmer]

I'm standing at a local car show, staring at one of the ugliest Sportsters I have seen to date. A rigid mount, carbed evo, just like she left the factory but with a fully custom paint job and every chrome accessory they ever sold. This thing is wearing four grand in paint, and the scheme is music notes, giant music notes. This dude comes up to me and say's "hard to believe this chopper used to look just like that." Pointing at a fully restored 1980 XR 750. "Yeah dude, real hard to believe."