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View Full Version : Free tip guard for your limerick on beer...



erikweste
08-18-2009, 9:44 AM
I have about a dozen of these TIP GARD (http://www.tipgard.com) brand protectors that will help keep your bike kickstand from sinking into hot asphalt, grass, soft dirt... etc. They are wallet size and convenient to carry, even if you never use it. They were samples and have slight blems from shuffling around the garage and toolbox for years.

I will pay postage and mail them out to the first 12 limericks (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerick_%28poetry%29) on beer. We all love beer and I wanted an excuse to think about it.

I will start, because I intend on keeping one of them myself.

With a head made of perfect bubbly atoms
and an amber color that is hard to fathom
the flavor is rich
hes better than a bitch
I love my perfect Sam Adams

Ha... whatever.... I figured I would try. Lets see what you can do.

~E

framus
08-18-2009, 10:29 AM
There once was a man with no fears,
His courage it came from the beers.
He'd pick a fight,
get knocked out like a light.
This quite often brought him to tears.

erikweste
08-18-2009, 11:02 AM
Thanks Framus, funny stuff.

Anyone that posts, be sure to PM me your name and address and I will get it on the way in the next couple days. Probably ship 'em all out at once.

~E

NHMike
08-18-2009, 11:24 AM
I used to drink beer from the tap,
get hot chics to dance on my lap,
But now I've got gut, and my breathe stinks of butt,
So now I just settle for scraps.

Isgro
08-18-2009, 11:29 AM
I was sitting at the local bar
when I saw a drunk ho from afar
I bought her a beer
when she got quite near
and then stuck my wang in her quite far

smokey469
08-18-2009, 11:31 AM
There once was a man who drank ale,
But he only liked it pale,
He'd get drunk,
Then act like a punk,
And now he needs to post bail!

sickboy
08-18-2009, 12:32 PM
Cop asked "you been drinkin all day?"
I said no in speech slurred and delayed
Cop asked "why's the beer in the car"
Got those for my wife at the bar
Cop replied "Good trade!"

BigNate
08-18-2009, 12:39 PM
There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who only drank beer from a bucket,
Till one day it leaked, twas then he got tweaked,
He grabbed a pitcher and said,"Fuck It!"

Homebrew
08-18-2009, 12:47 PM
There once was a fellow McSweeny
Who spilled some gin on his weenie
Just to be couth
He added vermouth
Then slipped his girlfriend a martini

I know it's not officially beer but alchohol is alchohol to me.
Just incase it doesn't count.

Some nights I like to drink wine
And sit by the fire with a baby of mine
But tonight's a beer night
So pass me a bud light
Pretty soon I'll be feelin' fine.

NHMike
08-18-2009, 1:09 PM
I knew you'd be showing yourself around this thread!! hahahahaha


There once was a fellow McSweeny
Who spilled some gin on his weenie
Just to be couth
He added vermouth
Then slipped his girlfriend a martini

I know it's not officially beer but alchohol is alchohol to me.
Just incase it doesn't count.

Some nights I like to drink wine
And sit by the fire with a baby of mine
But tonight's a beer night
So pass me a bud light
Pretty soon I'll be feelin' fine.

imtheslime
08-18-2009, 3:20 PM
I drank me a beer that was bitter,
it then sent me straight to the shitter
I joined AA and stay far away
now my friends all call me a quitter

erikweste
08-18-2009, 3:31 PM
only 4 to go... this is some funny shit guys. Thanks for playin'. Be sure to message me your contact info if you have not already, looks like I will be mailing them all out tomorrow.

~E

Magickman
08-18-2009, 5:42 PM
A girl to her boyfriend did mock,
'Just look at the shape of your cock,
Is it because you are queer
Or those ten pints of beer
That the big hand is at six O'clock

erikweste
08-18-2009, 7:18 PM
Framus, Homebrew, Magickman. PM me your addresses so I can send them out tomorrow with the others.

Thanks
~E

Magickman... that is some funny shit.

Halwade
08-18-2009, 8:01 PM
We keep the good stuff under lock, see
'cause when my wife drinks she gets sloppy
As a matter of course, she likes it by force
but when friends are in town, it's bukkake

FlyinHawaiian
08-18-2009, 9:39 PM
Look like sk8 truck risers.....

erikweste
08-19-2009, 10:42 AM
I don't know if there is a better way to end a contest than bukkake.

I am heading to the post office in a bit and only buying stamps once... so everyone that posted, thanks, they were entertaining and your Tip Gard will be in the mail today.

~E

JohnnyWolf
08-19-2009, 10:50 AM
Look like sk8 truck risers.....

I was thinkin' the same thing.

Isgro
08-19-2009, 11:22 AM
I don't know if there is a better way to end a contest than bukkake.

I am heading to the post office in a bit and only buying stamps once... so everyone that posted, thanks, they were entertaining and your Tip Gard will be in the mail today.

~E

It's definitely an amusing thread. Thanks for the fun.

sickboi55
08-19-2009, 11:50 AM
i like beer, yes i do
you dont? well screw you
although it makes me poo
beer poo is like stew
pee freakin eww

Homebrew
08-19-2009, 12:32 PM
I don't know if there is a better way to end a contest than bukkake.

I am heading to the post office in a bit and only buying stamps once... so everyone that posted, thanks, they were entertaining and your Tip Gard will be in the mail today.

~E

Thanks Again

Homebrew
08-25-2009, 5:39 PM
Received my tip guard today, thank you.

Magickman
08-25-2009, 6:38 PM
Got mine too. Realy cool and thanks again!!

Oh and Homebrew, please don't post again until you change your avatar...it makes me think wrong thoughts...LOL

sickboy
08-25-2009, 9:24 PM
Got mine...thanks a ton!

smokey469
08-26-2009, 6:46 AM
Got mine too, thanks man!

imtheslime
08-26-2009, 11:10 AM
Got it. The graphic of the tiping motorcyle on it is great. TIIIIMMMMMBBBEEEEERRRR!

erikweste
08-26-2009, 12:18 PM
glad everyone has been receiving them ok.

Hopefully they are of some use one day.

~E

Homebrew
08-28-2009, 7:58 AM
What do you mean one day, it's under my stand right now in the parking lot.

NHMike
08-28-2009, 3:05 PM
Got it, thanks man!!