View Full Version : Lady Hump - ONE PERSONS (a) CHUMP

12-18-2012, 11:14 AM
Tuesday, DECEMBER 18th, 2012

So you WANNA be a BORN FREE 5 BUILDER....? Doesn't everybody these day? Well that dreams been crushed. Squashed. Broken. Knocked in the dirt. Broke Back and left on the Mountain alone... But wait. Maybe, just maybe, there's one more chance for your dreams to grow like a Unicorns Horn?

Nobody (I repeat, NOBODY) asked us how we thought we could make Born Free 5 better? ... but we've got big ideas and even bigger mouths and throw more rides and parties than anyone in the Los Angeles / South Bay area (that's a mouthfull... but true) and even though our suggestions are mostly incoherent dribble, babble and tomfoolery, somewhere in there CRFyou decided that we'd party like a Rock Star (pants optional) and showcase one builders bike in our booth as the "Unicorns Chumpion!" We'll have candles set up around it and totally fucking "shrine" it out to the Unicorn Gods in attendance. Let's just say it'll be hard to miss on the Phalic Stand we're going to build for your bike!

And hey! Guess the fuck what? ... We're already throwing a pre-party the day before, the night of, and a Pool Party the day after the event at the Gasser Lounge!!!!, so what the hell, why not just ad more to the stupidity. If Stupidity was free it would grow on trees and monkey's would eat it for food and bone each other like rabbits and then eat the rabbits because they taste so good.

We'll invite anyone who cares to join in with our lot, to cast their build into the mix, and the Lady Hump blog viewers can decide on which bike get's the Unicorns Chumpion spot inside our booth at Born Free 5. Where you know... all the cool kids hang out. Damn straight Girl Friend!

How? Simple... FIRST, tell us you wanna get stupid and build a Unicorn themed chopper... email us at ladyhumpmc@gmail.com SECOND, we want to know what you're building and want some shots of your project.... THIRD, MAKE IT HAPPEN and keep us posted on the progress..... We'll showcase your shit on the Lady Hump as you build it. Figure, bi-weekly updates at a minimum? After all that, then the Lady Hump viewers are gonna judge you (don't get any MORE BUTT HURT over this) and choose so, they probably wanna see some progress and get to know you a little, your sign, your favorite foods, condom flavor, etc. just the basics you'd share with any stranger at a dive bar.

The ONLY RULES (*) are real simple... you have to build the bike yourself and it's gotta have a mild to wild Unicorn theme (or something equally radically cool, don't bring none of your Viking lore to this Gnome Gang Bang) and you have to have it started By January 1st..... That's it... now let the games begin....

We will let the blog viewer vote and then you'll be at the show making moves inside our booth as a honorary spectacle (I didn't exactly say testicle?) but whatever... you can be the Winner! You can build the Unicorn Chumpion. Make your dreams come true! No one will win your bike or nothing, and you'll be responsible for transportation to and from our booth, but it'll be fun as shit to get to know us and have CRFyou offer up his "special services" if needed.

Now, get to WORK!!! Your build introductory email must be received by us no later than end of day 01/01/2013.

(*) That's a pretty open ended statement, we might have to add some rules along the way? Who knows? Who really knows? What you do know, is this might be your "last" chance to get your bike in Born Free 5 (unless of course you just ride it in? But you won't get the bad ass title of UNICORN CHUMPION and the Medal that goes along with it if you win!!!!!)


Imagin your bike stacked as the Unicorn's Chumpion center piece at our booth? Wow....


Oh yeah, and don't forget the pool party.... Hail Nah' Brah!




12-18-2012, 11:22 AM
That's right!!!

It's going down like Fort Sumter in April!!

One more chance at being a Chopper Hero.

Check the graph, dog. I'm the official statistician of Lady Hump.


The honor and lube of this contest is yours for the taking.

Plus you'll get all the bonus attention of being next to my super sick chop. I'm a pretty big deal, now.

12-18-2012, 12:47 PM
(*) must be a sporty with unicorn attire

Disclaimer: No knucks, pans or shovels have been harmed in the process of this build off

12-19-2012, 9:45 AM
All right!

Getting some emails!!

To clarify... It DOES NOT have to bee done up in rainbows, sunshine, and lollipops. That's just some extra credit shit you guys could do.

To be an official(not official) Born Free UNinvited builder is pretty much the most punk rock thing you could do.

You will be in a highly trafficked area with a high skank ratio.

I can tell you recruits need some motivation. Don't be too bummed that you won't be Show Class status. You can still be Low Class with us!


12-19-2012, 1:43 PM
Hey... Do You knuckleheads need someone to man the prestigious Lady Hump booth while Y'all are busy in the parking lot giving out all of those hand jobs? I promise I will not drink all of your beer, ' just want to check out the ladies as they drool over the lady hump shirts :), while you fags are doing your thing out in the parking lot:D

just 1 question....I have lots of parts including a motor, but no frame(yet), do I need a frame by the 1st to qualify, or
can I email a photo of what I have?

12-20-2012, 6:41 PM
If you're game, take a pic of the parts collected and send it in. We're "open" to trying new things.... and it won't be limited to the parking lot only. There's bathrooms, bushes, dark alley's and lots of other places that "builders" gather and do their thing... wink wink

01-01-2013, 11:31 AM
Ok here's a linc to my build thread and entry into the Unicorns Chump. http://www.chopcult.com/forum/showthread.php?t=26303

You guys can keep up with it there or on my blog .. http://loudandgreasy.blogspot.com/

I hope to acheive the perfect balance of traditional chopper style with a touch of uh .....well .......uh..... shall we say .....alternative chopper style...:cheersmate:

Get well Allen!:cheersmate:

01-01-2013, 1:12 PM
Killer man!

Bike looks good!

All you other first phase recruits... Keep emailing us your ugly projects! It will give Allen something to look at while he lays in bed, learning to masturbate again. My coaching can only go so far. It's time for him to spread his bat wings.

01-01-2013, 8:08 PM
Killer man!

Bike looks good!

All you other first phase recruits... Keep emailing us your ugly projects! It will give Allen something to look at while he lays in bed, learning to masturbate again. My coaching can only go so far. It's time for him to spread his bat wings.

Wow, just WOW. I'm starting a "2013 Best Quote" thread with this gem!

01-02-2013, 10:13 AM
Wow, just WOW. I'm starting a "2013 Best Quote" thread with this gem!

Haha! Thanks man!

01-02-2013, 10:28 AM
I was just reading my bible, as I am one to do, and came across a full endorsement of our contest from the Lord God above.

Check out this mother fucking, sick ass, bible fucking verse out!!

Isaiah 34:7

King James Version (KJV)

And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness.

Hell yeah!

01-02-2013, 10:29 AM
What does my Spleen have to do with my ED?

Thanks to the now, four builders who've tossed into the towel with us! This is going to be one giant Unicorn Schmegasboard!!!!

And we've reserved our Double-Wide spot at BF5 so you can plan on visiting the "Nal Hutta" booth containing Lady Hump, The Gasser Lounge, 24 Cycles and the new Wuss Army "Reqsuirt Station" See you there!

01-05-2013, 10:02 AM
Just thought I would let yall know I've named my bike "el Cuerno Uno" and thought I would take the time to show some love and "throw it up"



04-01-2013, 9:11 AM
As you may or may not know, we've invited a few select builders to build a Unicorn Chumpion bike that will be displayed in the Double-Wide Lady Hump and Superfriends Booth at Born Free 5. Why? Why the hell not??? So here's an April update on three (3) of the builders builds...

Hey Allen,
progress has been slow lately ....but the pipes are done, ignition is in, valves adjusted , oil tank powder coated black, battery installed, And it is running ......still have to tune it, finish the ass end , finish wiring the lights, finish the brakes , and paint it.
Thanks man,


Finished wiring the little '71 triumph TR6 today (wires routed inside the frame). Where the wires could not be run inside the frame, I welded steel tubing to the frame so wires would be out of site. The few places where wires had to be exposed, they are enclosed inside the mercedes rubber coated woven polyester wrap, and all ends and connections are soldered. Where the crimp on ends were used, they were crimped, then soldered, and insulated with heat shrink tubing. . Frame is wrapped in foam so I do not ding the new paint installing engine and trans... Paint is candy orange copper pigment mixed into a satin finish clear and shot over a non metallic brilliant silver. No glitter, no flash...all business and 100% rideable. Any washing can be done with a power washer, and no polishing is necessary.
Rear section of the frame is all hand made to use a 40s triumph mark 1 sprung hub. No kit is made to use a sprung hub with an OIF chassis, and no axle plates are made with provisions for the sprung hub anchor, so all that had to be custom milled. Engine and trans are completely rebuilt. No chrome. All raw finish aluminum, with black barrels. Wheels were left the raw finish aluminum hubs, with the outer rims done in high gloss black. Seat is hand made for the bike, pipes were hand made and have been finished in matte silver ceramic coating. All exposed fasteners on the frame are non polished stainless steel acorn nuts to cap studs, which means that all the whitworth bolts had to be replaced, and the holes retapped to UNF threads or heli-coiled for standard American course thread fasteners. The front end remained basically stock, even utilizing the factory headlight bucket (with a halogen bulb installed). I did switch to a set of 1979 kawasaki 340 invader snow mobile handle bars. I used norton clutch and brake levers, with the choke lever on the perch for the front brake lever. The carb is a new 930 amal, with hardened slide, and I just like the look of the old choke lever, so I went with it.
transmission casing was remachined to allow clearance for an X ring drive chain.
Tomorrow and Monday I am doing assembly. Bike will be rolling again Tuesday, and should have all the little bugs worked out by the end of the week.

I know the sprung hub is unpopular, but I live in the mountains, 30 miles from town. The roads have been hammered by snow plows, and many are not paved. The sprung hub is more practical then a low slung chopper...and I believe the best custom is always the one that can be ridden regularly. I wanted something that could be used daily, and would be equally at home splitting lanes as cruising country roads. ...Plus Fonzie's scrambler had a sprung hub, and I always thought that bike was cool (who didn't?)

Ok, I wanted the bike to be done by now, but my tires have not arrived (19 inch front and rear)... anyway, here is a little better update on the progress of the triumph. as soon as I have tires in my grubby little hands, the bike is a roller. I am kind of proud of the exhaust. I had to get a little creative to get the pipes to flow with the shape of the frame...and there are baffles inside them
Lee Herrick

Here is the latest on my Unicorn chump project..... Originally I was going to use a '59
Pan swinger frame & build my own crazy frank fender, But instead I had San Fernando Jay
build Me a custom rigid single looper (my alltime favorite style of frame).
I went with 1 " up on the neck, & 3/4" out, & 30 degrees of rake. I have a Harman Girder
that I have owned for several years now & wanted to use it on this project, & after bolting
the Girder on, the frame sits dead level. ground clearance is 4.375". That's about as low
as I would want, Actually I was hoping for about 5.5" at the front with a 70's style (Nor-Cal)
28 degrees. A stock neck would have acomplished this, But I had to go up 1" on the neck in order for the rear cylinder panhead rocker box to clear the "Motorshop" style backbone curve. It barely cleared it by 1/4"! I need to modify the motor mount bracket as I am pretty sure that Jay accidentally welded it on backwards as It was hitting the rear rocker box, I gound it down somewhat so I could stuff the motor into the frame, I am just going to remove it completely & reweld another one in. I got my wheels laced up & mounted, 16"rear. 21" front. I kind of wish I went with a 23" on the front, Think It would look killer! Oh well, maybe later on down the look (front end sitting higher than rear), But I would need to modify & derake the trees to about road I'll do that. I almost went with a spooly hub on the front, But Decided not to sacrifice safety for coolness factor. Besides, I like tearing up mountain roads & I need brakes for that. I have not had much time to work on this build as I have been busy as hell with work, even working saturdays which I rarely do anymore, So if my job slows down a little, Maybe I can get this thing built by BF5, If I do, It will most likely be bare metal as I know for a fact I will not have the time for painting since I have lots of custom parts still to make, such as tank (style) hand shifer, Mid foot controls, Shotgun exhaust, Caliper brackets, & lots more!

Thanks for the updates guys and I really hope all goes well and we get the chance to have a few cold ones over displaying your bikes at Born Free!

And our own Lady Hump / Gasser Lounge / Sailor Jerry SPORTSTERS RUIN Build is coming along just fine... Frame Hardtiled by Slims Fab, we're just now putting this baby back together, in time for this years EDR~ See you there
From Salvage Doner '95 1200cc Sporty, to bad assery...

04-01-2013, 2:04 PM
Allen - FYI the Triumph popped up for sale today in the Classifieds. I guess he's not in the contest?

04-01-2013, 2:43 PM
fuck all you cali guys and your cool chopper shows and your cali skank hoes and your weather and your chopper scene and your faces

go fuck yourselves

04-01-2013, 4:47 PM
Allen - FYI the Triumph popped up for sale today in the Classifieds. I guess he's not in the contest?

Brothers gotta eat I guess? Either way, trying to get people to show more choppers / builds... just wanna share more of what this place is all about.

You wanna build up a Super Unicorn Machine (S.U.M.) and show it off at Born Free 5 and drink with us, lmk.

04-01-2013, 8:30 PM
ok eastcoast here,,,,, is the face behind 24 cycles?if so,,,,, THANKS MAN!!!!! THE FASTEST SHIPPING,,, from the west coast ,to east coast ,, in shipping of parts,I,ve ever had ,or even heard of,,took a total of 2 days out to me ,amazeing ,,,cheers to ya :cheersmate:

04-01-2013, 9:48 PM
Sorry.... No. I'm a pale wank compared to my budda' the one and only sexy Mr. Atom Rotten aka 24Cycles

04-02-2013, 8:20 PM
Brothers gotta eat I guess? .

actually it was a moment of weakness and frustration. my wife had some medical bills that insurance did not cover, my old vette is acting like it needs a new vacuum pod for one of the headlights, and my big 129 inch hot rod harley engine was making a noise I didn't like

I got a few offers on the limey, but couldn't let it go...Instead I took the listing down
I have not taken a real vacation since 2009, and I think this year I need to get away from the shop for a little while