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backwithabang
08-14-2012, 1:26 PM
Ok. Yesterday, cruising down the main drag in north buffalo ny on my 68 triumph chop going about 40 I get insta rear wheel lockup. So I started into the inevitable skid, but had some control. I tried banging the rear brake pedal thinking it may be a brake lock up but that did nothing but bend my brake rod. So I aim for the curb and calculate a decent slow down by the time I hit it, plus I'll be off the road. I lower my kickstand in hopes I can just come to a screeching halt and be done with the obviously loud embarrassing situation

Anyway I hit the large curb with a bit too much velocity and fly off the bike on to the sidewalk. (not violent more of like a dude falling off a bike in a dumb and dumber type movie) Ninja roll right to my feet and get up as of nothing was out of the ordinary. However people bum rush me out of eateries and bars thinking I'm dead or something, someone called the cops. It's was a mess. I'm just like, yea I'm fine this happens all the time trying to play it off.

Total suckitude.

Local 33er walker or XwalkerX as his moniker is comes to my rescue on his pan. But of course runs out of gas a block away. So I wait while people crowd around and ask me stupid questions about my bike. He texts me that he retrieved gas and is about to return on his rescue mission. This is the only cool part of the story. All of a sudden BOOM! Everyone nearby ducks. People on patio diners are dropping their silverware. His backfire on the first kick scared the living shit out of everyone.

Regardless this lame story ends with walker retrieving my truck from home, us physically lifting the bike since the back wheel isn't budging and getting it on the lift. We find a blown wheel bearing, busted hub and torn up axel.

Moral of the story... Never try to half ass a Harley wheel and hub to a triumph axel, sprocket, brake set up. Just lace the fucker to a cotton spool and be done with it and you too will not have to be an asshole

OnryAndMean
08-14-2012, 1:54 PM
Nothing that good, but I was riding with a lady once and as i was parking in front of a crowded outdoor eating section at a restaurant, she hopped off like a dumbass without getting the okay or letting me know and I nearly laid the fucker down with both my feet planted. I looked like a noob with a good 30 people laughing at me. That was embarrassing.

NIGHTTIGER666
08-14-2012, 2:04 PM
This is more embarrassing to the other guy, not me. I posted this story two weeks ago but there are updates now which make it even better.

Two Fridays ago, while working with a friend on my bike, he talks me into taking his new Ironhead for a spin. I'm doing maybe 35-40 on a main road and this big fat drunk kid ran into the road trying to cross, while I had the right of way. He saw me and completely froze. I had to swerve and ended up falling and getting cut up and rashed pretty well. I got up and moved the bike over to the sidewalk. The dude then starts crying, freaking out about how he could've killed me. I ask him for a cigarette so I can calm down a bit and he obliges, yet still shaking. I talk him out of calling the cops and ambulance because nothing is serious and ACAB(bike wasn't registered). I left my phone at the garage so the guy's friend grabbed a car to alert my friends what had happened. They roll through and we're all high fives while the drunk kid is still freaking out. He really wants to make it right to us, which is respectable. My vans were shredded up so he offered to buy me a new pair and pay for the damages to the bike (~$400).

The next Monday, the dude rolls into my bar, still noticeably afraid of me and hands me an envelope with cash for new sneakers. He then meets up with the owner of the bike and asks him to sign a waiver before he pays him. The kid wrote it up himself and it's ridiculous. He admits liability in the waiver and says if we sign it, then we can't sue him. Now while I never had an intention of suing the poor kid, I strongly believe in the gentleman's agreement. This waiver pretty much creates a paper trail and the admission of guilt is fucking himself over.

I guess this kid has never interacted with "bikers" before, but his constant trembling around us is pretty mindblowing.

Fucking squares.

bonesxl1100
08-14-2012, 2:18 PM
After a long day of riding then hitting a couple bars on the way home we pull up to the toll to get back into PA. I stood up to dig in my pockets for the toll with my right hand and my left hand is holding the bars. Well, it was one of the hottest days of the year and i guess i had the bike leaning a little too much to my right and the damn grip pulls right off of the bars. Im standing there with a grip in my hand and the bike on the ground. All my friends saw as well as all the cagers. Sucked.

Another time we're at the local bar. Bout a mile from my house. Im ready to leave so i go outside to my bike. Strap my helmet on, hop on the bike and start her up. Like a moron, and i dont usually do this, i trust the damn nuetral light and start it without the clutch pulled in. Bike was still in gear. The bike shoots out from under me and procedes to climb the damn outside wall of the bar. I flew back on my ass in front of about 10 other bikers. That one really hurt my pride.

backwithabang
08-14-2012, 2:20 PM
You should have told him those vans were schaaf syndicates and cost you 350

BillyT
08-14-2012, 2:22 PM
Buddy of mine had just gotte back from Austin with a 95 Triumph Thunderbird. Being that he hadn't ridden a street bike in almost ever, I offered to take it around the block to shake it down from him. Check the brakes, make sure it shifts and whatever, just make sure it's safe for him to get on. So I cruise around the block, and everything checks out. Pop a wheelie pulling into his driveway, even... Just being Billy Bad ass... Ask him if he's ready for it, says yeah... so I ride up to the top of his drive way to turn around, and just flop over onto my side... like I lost all motor skills and just fell over. Broke the headlight, broke the turn signal, and broke my ego, straight in half. Its funny now, and was kinda funny then, but I felt like the biggest jack ass.

Add to it, that a week earlier, he asked if he could ride my bike around the parking lot at work, and I told him that I didn't think it was a good idea, anything could happen... then BAM! I drop his bike before he even gets to ride it. ha ha... oh man...

BillyT
08-14-2012, 2:26 PM
Another time we're at the local bar. Bout a mile from my house. Im ready to leave so i go outside to my bike. Strap my helmet on, hop on the bike and start her up. Like a moron, and i dont usually do this, i trust the damn nuetral light and start it without the clutch pulled in. Bike was still in gear. The bike shoots out from under me and procedes to climb the damn outside wall of the bar. I flew back on my ass in front of about 10 other bikers. That one really hurt my pride.

The first time I took my little Honda to the drag strip, I tried to start it in gear and it almost plowed into the back of a bunch of big black guys sport bikes... that was awesome.

NIGHTTIGER666
08-14-2012, 2:27 PM
You're a bad friend.

Perches
08-14-2012, 2:29 PM
At least most of these are simple mistakes.... not complete idiocy on your part. Riding home after an all day ride, I was about a thousand feet from my house so I decided "why not?" and did a seat stand. Something I've done a million times, but this time I was just too tired to be acting stupid, and a wind gust blew me right off the back of the bike. After rolling about ten feet I jump up and begin sprinting towards my bike, which is casually ghosting down the street.... It ends up in a hayfield, and my neighbor, sure enough, is about a minute behind me and see's me pulling my bike out of the field....... I may or may not have told him I swerved around a deer. Oh, cheers on my first post.

YOURADHERE
08-14-2012, 2:59 PM
Tried taking off with the neck still locked. No one saw and only damage was a bent brake lever and a severly sprained ego.


One that I always felt like a total dickhead about. A few years back my brother had just graduated high school so he wanted to use some of his graduation money for a dirt bike. Finally found him one and drove him in my truck 2 hours there and 2 hours back to pickup a super clean 02 CR250. Got back home and he took it out for a spin to get the hang of it. After a while I convinced him to let me have a go at it, keep in mind that I hadn't been on a dirt bike in several years. I misjudged just how powerful those things are, coming out of a turn I over-revved a bit, let the clutch out quickly and paid, heavily. It slid out and then bit hard, tossed me off and flipped itself over backwards. I completely trashed my ankle and the bike landed on it's right slide and split the right radiator. He rode it all of 10 minutes before I fucked it all up. I felt so bad, I overnighted a new radiator which lightened my pocket about $250 and walked with a limp for the next couple months. Fuck that bike, I never rode it again, nor did I ever misjudge how much power something actually has.

gonzoguilt
08-14-2012, 3:11 PM
When I first got my bike, I'd park it in front of our shop's cafeteria cause I could also see it out the window from my machine. Lunch break just started, only have a half hour and I was fucking starving. I didn't let it warm up, I went to go and it stalled. Slow dramatic lay down, with me ending up on my back yelling "FUUUUUCCCKKK" and throwing my arms in the air. All of my coworkers saw me through the windows. Finally picked her up and took off. Lil scratches on the clutch lever was all. My ego was hurt more.

Hooligan80
08-14-2012, 3:25 PM
Here's my most embarrassing:

My buddy was being an asshole and wouldn't move his bike so I could finish cleaning out front at my work, so I told him to give me the keys and I'll move it so his lazy doesn't have to do shit. So he tosses me the keys top his CBR1000RR, and I start it up and start to make my round about low speed turn to go move it and laid then fucker down at low speed (6 miles per hour) with the bike landing on top of me pretty much. Yeah, I caught shit and they kept calling me a squid, until they realized and oil patch is what caused the front end to slide right out from under me. Two weeks later his buddy on a GSXR did the same exact thing only a little faster.

Nottso
08-14-2012, 3:42 PM
It was the Spring of 1985. The house I owned at the time had a "storm cellar" entrance in the back yard that went to the basement. You'd raise the big doors, go down the steps, and there was a regular service door to the basement. The very first thing I did was build a ramp over the stairs so the bikes could spend the winters in the basement. This particular winter, I had had my '76 XLCH, as well as my brother's insane Water Buffalo (Suzuki GT 750, water cooled, 2 stroke triple) down there.

There was a lot of work in the Buffalo and it was stupid fast. It also had clip-ons and rear sets, all set up like a drag bike. So anyways, come Spring, it's time for me to get the bikes out and move 'em to the garage. I fire up the Sporty, let it warm up just a little, and chug it up the ramp like a tractor. No big deal, right?.

Next, I fire up the Buffalo. R-r-r-r-ring-a-ding-ding-dink. R-r-r-r-ring-a-ding-ding-dink. R-r-r-ing. R-r-r-r ing. Pretty quickly, the smoke is getting pretty thick in there and I gotta go. Mind you, this prick had plenty of horsepower, but not much torque. I won't be chugging this fucker up the ramp, I've got to get a bit of a running start. R-r-r-r-ring-a-ding-ding-dink. Back it up the far wall. R-r-r-r-ring-a-ding-ding-dink. Here I go...

While the Buckhorns on the Sporty sat me more upright, they also let me notice that I had to duck my melon going through the lower door. Not so on the Buffalo. I light that fucker off, get as much speed as I can in that short distance, and POW!!! The top of the doorway hit me square in the top of my dome. More accurately, it was my dome that assaulted the door frame, but who really cares?

I came to kind of slowly. Everything was like swimming around, there was smoke and blood everywhere, and I hear dink dink dink dink coming from the back yard. I crawl up the ramp, and there's all my neighbors, gathered around the Buffalo, there on its side, in the middle of the back yard. Still running, in first gear, saying dink dink dink dink as the back wheel turned very slowly.

As it turned out, I had enough speed so that the bike made it up and out of the basement without me. So now I'm standing there, swaying all over the place, trying to keep my feet and figure out wtf was going on when the stoner that lived next door says "Dude... we heard a buncha noise, and then a motorcycle came flyin' up outta the ground."

Ansutton21
08-14-2012, 3:54 PM
Last summer I was gettin ready to leave in n out, and I seen a bunch of babes sittin outside smiling at me. I start up, and make a dramatic appearance of puttin my helmet on, top gun style. I pull out of my space and go to rev it a little cause now a few of these supple creatures are waving at me. Only problem was that when I grabbed that throttle my other hand was nowhere near the clutch, it wasn't fact up near my face doin a kinda princess Diana wave back at these high school hotties. I went sliding for about a good ten feet. God I looked retarded.

JamesM
08-14-2012, 4:17 PM
Coming to a stop at a light, I down shift into first at about 10MPH and SNAP! goes my clutch cable, bike stalled, back tire drug and I fell over sideways with the bike in slow motion. Was pretty embarrassing. So was riding it home without the clutch in second gear.

MegaDON666
08-14-2012, 4:38 PM
^^^same thing happened to me, but the bike lifted and it came down on its side right on to my ankle

dartcustom420
08-14-2012, 5:08 PM
Last summer I was working at the local supermarket and was running late for work. I hauled ass there and flew through the parking lot like I owned the place into my regular spot. I quickly turned the bike off, threw down my kickstand lift my leg over and BAM, me and the bike are on the ground and it took all my skinny little strength to pick the magna up and when I finally get the bike stationary I can see that the freshly poured asphalt parking lot had heated up and softened in the 100+ degree heat. My kickstand had sunk into the asphalt and pulled a good sized chunk out and she came down. I secretly felt like an ass for the rest of the day thinking no one noticed, until a coworker came up later and asked "What happened, I saw you lay your bike down standing still, HAHAHA" then my shame was much more public..

rooster52478
08-14-2012, 5:22 PM
I came in hot into the driveway on the Ironhead one day. I had to take a piss super bad. I back into the garage so I come blasting into the drive and bust a u turn. I throw the kickstand down and hop off real quick. Not quick enough to get out of the way of the bike falling on me. I guess I didn't get the kickstand down all the way in my haste to take a piss. FML I don't know if any neighbors saw me or not but it sucked and broke my shifter arm.

Then one time on my Evo Sportster me and a friend were out riding. He was on a borrowed bike too which makes it that much worse. I stop him at a turn and tell him that in a few blocks after a turn there is a sketchy one lane wooden bridge and he needs to slow way down. He says ok and we're off. I get to the bridge and slow down and just as I'm crossing the other side BAM he hits me in the ass end. My bike shoots out from underneath me like a magician yanking a tablecloth out from under some dishes and ghost rides off the side of the road. I land on my ass and skid in the street. The highway peg on the bike he's riding clips my calf as he whiskey throttles it off the other side of the road. Looking back it kinda pisses me off but I have to laugh because we are standing there trying to decide what to do next and here comes this bicycle rider spandex and all down the hill. At the sketchy ass bridge he slows to a stop, gets off the bike, and walks across the bridge. Smartest thing I saw that day.

p.s. The bridge is now closed because it's deemed "unsafe". No shit!!

planningoncrashing
08-14-2012, 5:29 PM
Pulling my bike around after work, coasting, engine off, side saddle, I flick the bike right then left, just like most days, only on this one particular day, the bike doesn't quite make it back left. I slowly tipped over, completely helpless with both feet on the wrong side of a bike I'd bought less than a week before. Snapped the front brake lever off, picked up a few light scratches, and broke the shifter off with my foot. Fortunately, otherwise both the bike and I were fine, and after years of abuse, my ego is immune to such things, because the parking lot was full of employees and last minute customers.

Not the most dramatic, maybe, but completely avoidable if I'd bothered to throw a leg over.

Kcarvajal
08-14-2012, 5:46 PM
I get on my bike at the end of my driveway, start it up with choke on to warm it up. I had my helmet on but not my gloves. Let go of the clutch and the freekin' bike flies off from under me. I literrally rolled off of my bike, hit the rear wheel (had no rear fender at the time), and then fall to the ground. My bike took off about 10 feet into the street. Luckily no cars were going by. I'm sure a neighbor saw me.

Haven't made the same mistake again... yet.

Mills
08-14-2012, 5:49 PM
It was the Spring of 1985. The house I owned at the time had a "storm cellar" entrance in the back yard that went to the basement. You'd raise the big doors, go down the steps, and there was a regular service door to the basement. The very first thing I did was build a ramp over the stairs so the bikes could spend the winters in the basement. This particular winter, I had had my '76 XLCH, as well as my brother's insane Water Buffalo (Suzuki GT 750, water cooled, 2 stroke triple) down there.

There was a lot of work in the Buffalo and it was stupid fast. It also had clip-ons and rear sets, all set up like a drag bike. So anyways, come Spring, it's time for me to get the bikes out and move 'em to the garage. I fire up the Sporty, let it warm up just a little, and chug it up the ramp like a tractor. No big deal, right?.

Next, I fire up the Buffalo. R-r-r-r-ring-a-ding-ding-dink. R-r-r-r-ring-a-ding-ding-dink. R-r-r-ing. R-r-r-r ing. Pretty quickly, the smoke is getting pretty thick in there and I gotta go. Mind you, this prick had plenty of horsepower, but not much torque. I won't be chugging this fucker up the ramp, I've got to get a bit of a running start. R-r-r-r-ring-a-ding-ding-dink. Back it up the far wall. R-r-r-r-ring-a-ding-ding-dink. Here I go...

While the Buckhorns on the Sporty sat me more upright, they also let me notice that I had to duck my melon going through the lower door. Not so on the Buffalo. I light that fucker off, get as much speed as I can in that short distance, and POW!!! The top of the doorway hit me square in the top of my dome. More accurately, it was my dome that assaulted the door frame, but who really cares?

I came to kind of slowly. Everything was like swimming around, there was smoke and blood everywhere, and I hear dink dink dink dink coming from the back yard. I crawl up the ramp, and there's all my neighbors, gathered around the Buffalo, there on its side, in the middle of the back yard. Still running, in first gear, saying dink dink dink dink as the back wheel turned very slowly.

As it turned out, I had enough speed so that the bike made it up and out of the basement without me. So now I'm standing there, swaying all over the place, trying to keep my feet and figure out wtf was going on when the stoner that lived next door says "Dude... we heard a buncha noise, and then a motorcycle came flyin' up outta the ground."
I laughed so hard....hahaha. great stuff man

OnryAndMean
08-14-2012, 7:31 PM
I laughed so hard....hahaha. great stuff man

seriously, great story!

paybacks01
08-14-2012, 9:00 PM
I had just got my bike up and running but still had some bugs to work out. One of which was the squishy rear brake. I wasnt running a front brake at the time so it was a little bit of a bigger issue than I had realized. So my wife wanted us to go to the old battle ax's (her mother) house for dinner. All stoked on the fact my bike is rideable I tell the wife I will follow her over there. She's not too keen on the idea but I assure her with the usuaI "i know what I'm doing woman" and proceed to put a little gas in the tank and fire that bitch up. The wife and my little one pull out in front and start driving up our long steep driveway and wait for me at the top. I take off and start cruising on up. Right as I'm about to reach the top the bike shuts off. Seems the little bit of gas I put in was not getting to the petcock at that angle. I immediately started rolling backwards. My instant reaction had me reach for a handful of non-existent front brake. "Aahhh shit" Steadily gaining speed backwards i try the foot brake but that didnt do shit to stop me and just made it harder to keep the bike up. All I could think of is "I'm gonna dump this fucker after 2 years of fixing it!". I'm like Fuck that, that is not an option Im going to accept. Now im seriously hauling ass backwards down hill trying to control the speed wobbles. Ive got drop offs on both sides and a sharp corner to make into the flat part of my driveway or I go down into the creek bed. At the last possible second i go for it and somehow managed to keep the bike up around the turn and instantly come to an immediate stop as I slam into the back of my truck. Amazed that the bike is still on its wheels and safe I look up the driveway and see my wife just in shock staring at me. Took the helmet off walked to the top and hop in her car. I don't say a word and she just continues to stare. Meanwhile my 2 year old daughter is in the back seat laughing and saying "daaaddddyyyyyy". Definitely felt like a boner.

fish433
08-14-2012, 9:03 PM
OK so I'm pulling out of a gas station in San Juan Capistrano next to Mission Capistrano when I look up to see a guy and I use that term loosely coming out of the mission (Catholic church) wearing dolphin shorts and his shirt tied up like a chick so I'm laughing my ass off and run right into the car in front of me

ThePete
08-14-2012, 9:39 PM
Military bike rider = quarterly mandatory fun after a good old military safety brief and bike inspection (the only reason I keep the laughable chopped front fender and turn signals). Being that I "belong" to Naval Medical Center San Diego (Balboa Naval Hospital) its where I have to go for mine. So I'm looking for a spot to park my bike and end up in the overflow lot and after trying to find a spot that not only will my bike stay planted on its kickstand but not get backed into, run over or worse I decide to go park illegally up at a real paved lot. The overflow lot is steep, and a bad mixture of asphalt, dirt and loose decomposed granite. I see I'm going to have to back the bike up at a bit of an angle in a particularly rough section to get turned around and start to do so, flight deck boots (pretty slick bottoms except on pegs and non-skid decking) + dirt and DG over asphalt = not just bad footing but disastrous. I do a pathetic impression of the splits with the bike between my legs exactly over a low point between the front and rear wheels, tear my jeans in the process and get drug down by the bike, gravity wins. Best part is I still have to go to this damn safety brief all scuffed up, dirty, covered in dust and a little bloodied up, then get told to put my front fender and signals back on.

Cory
08-14-2012, 11:21 PM
I just read the complete thread to this point and had some pretty good laughs at you fuckers expense. Here's mine:

I'm riding with my new neighbour for like the 2nd time ever. He's on his pillow-glide or what ever the fuck it is and I'm riding my ratty ass Panhead. I'm ripping it up pretty good showing him how it's done on a bad ass chopper. We hang a right, right into a real short subway and I hammer on the throttle going into it. I go to shift second (jockey shift) and grab a fist full of throttle heading up out of the subway. I got my left hand on the shifter and my right hand on the throttle. Right then the whole fucking throttle slides right off the bars. So I'm riding no hands, uphill out of the subway and I'm falling off the back of the bike. The throttle snaps closed and my right foot hits the ground hard. The bike instantly veers right. My left pant leg then gets sucked into the open belt primary and straightens the bike right out and yanks my whole body forward. I can now reach the bars with my left hand, I still have the throttle in my right hand and coast to a stop. I'm thinking "holy fuck who seen this". Apparently everyone. My neighbour rolls up along with a bunch of cars that were behind us. They're all freaking out telling me they can't believe I didn't go down. I'm all like "eh no biggie", meanwhile my heart's about to explode! I go to stuff the throttle housing/tube back on and I can't get the tube back on, it's squished oval! Ha ha!!

ltuck
08-15-2012, 12:31 AM
Oh the bad days...

1)just had leg surgery, amd my buddy wants to move my bike across the shop about 10', but he wants to crank it, because rolling it is just too much. He stalls it twice, then gaps the throttle and pops the clutch. It shoots towards the wall, and right before it hits he lays it down, where it spun in circles on its side for about 10 minutes.

2)shifter spline broke at a stop sign on a hill. I didnt have a front brake, and reached down to try to get in gear, then the bike starts rolling backwards, and im running in reverse like a fucking duck, then i dump it on its side. Luckily no one was around.

3)im riding some back road that ive never been on before, so im taking it easy, as its quite curvy. From out of nowhere a rottweiler starts eating my leg. So im hauling ass, looking over my shoulder, then i go over a hill and the road stops, but i dont. I jump this huge assed ditch and land in some old mans garden, which hes hoeing. I think he was as shocked as i was. I never even stoped. I just hauled ass through the garden back to the road, and back past that damn dog that started chasing me again.

3)i left the bar at the 1st dixie round up/dice party, piss drunk. Some chick tells me as im firing up my bike that im too drunk to ride, and theres cops everywhere, to which i respond fuck the cops..i was only 2 blocks from my hotel, but was too drunk to find it, so im riding around when my pipe wrap comes loose and wraps up in my sprocket. I woke up in the middle of the road in downtown bham with my bike laying on top of me. Pipe burnt the hell out of my leg and arm. So i shake it off, go to the opposite side of the bike to pick it up, get it almost up and drop it again. So then im pissed, and jerk the hell out of it and drop it on myself again on the other side. Finally got it up and got on, and some bum is sitting on the sidewalk watching the whole thing. Its a wonder he hadnt cut my balls off or something. Had to ride all the way back home the next day with twisted apehangers and a bent to hell brake linkage. That was a terrible night.

Grantman
08-15-2012, 2:41 AM
Worst one for me was back about '80 was cruisin in LA on a fully chopped 1973 XLCH trying to pick up some tail and it wasn't goin too well. A USMC haircut didn't cut it with the ladies back then. Been takin nips of Jack off and on all day, burnin' one here and there, gettin pretty buzzed and my buddy says "I know what you need, take one of these" so after I wash down what looks like a cartoon sized aspirin we keep rollin. Bout an hour later everything is ssssslllllllllooooooooowwwwwwwww. So I finally ask "what the fuck was that?" his answer was "Good ain't it?:" (Rorer 714 - if you remember them you're gettin old like me) Anyway I get next to this convertible with a couple really hot blondes and they're smilin and wavin. I decide to hit em up at the next red light. Light ahead turns red, at the light I look over to say whatever cool thing 20 year olds say to pick up chicks when they're wasted and watched the girls get smaller??? WTF?? BAMM!!!!! forgot to put my feet down, dammit!! They drove off laughing and I never did do anything but go home pissed and wasted. Last time I ever tried to ride on disco biscuits.

TXLucky
08-15-2012, 3:27 AM
Leaving a bar parking lot with the wife on the back. Parking lot is kind of steep where it meets the road so I'm uphill waiting to turn left. Cars are intermittent and my judgement is a little off so I stall the bike and it slowly falls over on the left side. Wife flys off the back and hits the ground, jumps up and says "shit, let's go before the cops see us!" I get the bike upright and moving again and pull into a Jack in the Box parking lot down the road to see if she's ok. I tell her it was her fault because she was wiggling while I was trying to stop the bike and she replies with "wiggling? Motherfucker, I was asleep!"

Mickey
08-15-2012, 5:16 AM
Great thread!


This happend some years ago, was driving my old Kawa GPz1100 -81.

First warm spring morning, told the wife that Im taking my bike to work.

Whent out on the driveway feeling like a Knight, swinged my leg over and fired it up,
got my helmet on and the gloves, pulled the clutch and stepped it in to first gear.

Looked over my shoulder and gave the wife a cool nod, revved it a bit and leg go of the clutch. BOOM!

Came about 1 feet before the lock in the front disc hit the fork...

Nose in the dirt, scratched bike, broke off the clutch handle and my ego was really small, needless to say I too the car to work.


:p

HH76
08-15-2012, 7:48 AM
Couple years ago I went for a ride with a few guys from work. Two of them were relatively new to motorcycles, and their lack of experience really had me feeling like I was some sort of badass biker. After one stop we were all waiting to get started because one of the new guys couldn't figure out how to get his bike started (it was in gear). I decide I'd have to roll over there to show this rookie how it's done. I'm sitting on my non-running bike with the kickstand down, and decide to just roll it forward the 10ft so that I can help him while still sitting on my bike. Turns out my left leg must have grazed the kickstand moving it back just enough that when I tried to set it back down, the bike and I hit the ground. I was all off balance, and nearly knocked over another bike in the least gracefull dismount ever.

RobTheSlob
08-15-2012, 11:51 PM
TUCK IN YOUR SHOELACES! 18 yrs old on my GS550ES, cooler that shit, pulled up at stop light, I like to come to a complete stop and balance as long as I can (like bicyclists) went to put my foot down and my laces were caught on my shifter. I slowly fell over, chucking all my coolness out the door.

Lucky69
08-16-2012, 12:23 AM
Scored a cb750 from my father inlaw, was sitting in a box van for over ten years. Got the rat home and ditched most of the crap off(i.e. lights, fender, gages, grab bar) aired up the old cracked tires, washed the tank filled it, changed oil, fired the beast up, adjusted the carbs & got it warmed & rolled her out just into the front yard for a test ride and as I was rounding the tree and the lovely bald, cracked tires loss traction and I went a lil sideways sliding towards the road and traffic so I tried feathering the throttle and just keep on with the turn & slide kinda a flat track move but instead I slide down onto my left side with the bike on top of my left leg. I was laughing the whole time my nabor was watchin me the whole time freaking out he thought I was dead when the bike slid out on me! He was freaking out too when I was riding wheelies with it a minute later after I got it back up!!!! Dam squares!!!!!

smitty476
08-16-2012, 2:22 AM
Day after a hard rain I was coming into my driveway a little hot, hit the brakes. Front tire locked up and I hit the ground sliding. Just glad i I didnt slide into my roomates car.

<a href="http://s12.photobucket.com/albums/a225/kensmith476/?action=view&amp;current=65448_1646249670985_7427739_n .jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a225/kensmith476/65448_1646249670985_7427739_n.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

Mills
08-16-2012, 2:34 PM
these stories are great
I've been in a few stupid accidents and some serious ones, here's a few.

I was all geared up ready to take the OL for a ride, usually she ask If I'm ready before she gets on the back and I will signal yes for her to get on. As I'm putting on my gloves with the kickstand up bike running she steps on the foot peg and almost dumps the bike on top of both of us luckily I caught the handlebars just just in time . Looked across the street and my neighbors were all out in their driveway grilling out looking at us....:(

Funny story about that same bike when I sold it, it was to a friend of friend type of deal and I was told he rode dirt bikes and had his permit and could ride a street bike no problem. Well he shows up one day to go for test ride and pretty much immediately stalls it and dumps it on its side does a ninja roll back to his feet, bike was ok since it was on grass..so okay I'm pissed and asking the guy if he's sure he can handle it. He reasures me he can. I state that he better buy it if he wrecks it. next up
I'm on my bike and I instruct him to pull out of my driveway and take a right down the street. He kills it a few time's and finally shoot out into the street and across it into my neighbors yard saves it brings it back onto the street and stops at the stoplight......:eek: he almost wrecked it twice more but he bought it that day..

bhead1968
08-16-2012, 4:17 PM
I have crashed 3 times...things i have learned:

1. Don't ride on the wet grass leaving your house...use your driveway!

2. Don't ride on to the wet grass when coming home..use your fucking driveway... dumbass!

3. Don't wear shorts, sandals, start your bike and rev it to the limiter, pop the clutch, and "attempt" a burnout.


yes yes... good lessons learned..

Ride safe..ha

Mickey
08-17-2012, 12:01 PM
I have crashed 3 times...things i have learned:

1. Don't ride on the wet grass leaving your house...use your driveway!

2. Don't ride on to the wet grass when coming home..use your fucking driveway... dumbass!

3. Don't wear shorts, sandals, start your bike and rev it to the limiter, pop the clutch, and "attempt" a burnout.


yes yes... good lessons learned..

Ride safe..ha

Omg I think something interal broke when I was laughin to this.
I sir have done exactly the same things :)

And I think alot here recognize the situation..

Thanks for the reminder!

/Mickey

PS - Made my first nose dive on wet grass on my Suzuki GP125
In front of my girlfriends friends, wasnt that cockey after that.

crush1776
08-17-2012, 4:39 PM
I had an rz350 in high school, wheelies and hitting the ton everyday to lunch. Well I was picking a friend up in front of my HS (he rode a bus to a school for troubled kids, haha) and he said his bus driver told me to slow it down. I guess it made me mad cause I hauled ass past the bus and took a hot right turn, wouldn't you know it hit some loose gravel and sliiiiiiiide. Then the bus drives slowly passed us, and the driver had her best "I told you so" face on. We both had some road rash on the right side. In hindsight I am VERY surprised I did not kill myself on that thing!

Damn I miss that RZ...

crush1776
08-17-2012, 4:47 PM
When I was 9 I had a KDX80, my 11 yo bro had a kd100. We were running laps around our house when I see the chick I have a HUGE crush on ride by on her bicycle. Look up and I'm gonna hit a tree. Lay it down with grass and dirt flying everywhere, get up to the sound of her laughter. It was a humbling experience...

Never did get to hit that, but we are facebook friends, hmmm...

brooklynbomber
08-26-2012, 9:44 AM
Back when I was 20, I owned a NInja 500 and was hanging out with some sport bike dudes. We all went over to a Bob's Big Boy parking lot to hang out. There were atleast 50-60 bikers there hanging. Some with bikes like mine, some with some pretty tricked out bikes. After hanging there for awhile, I decide that it's time to get on home (to my parents house, lol). I get on the bike and start rolling to the exit of the parking lot. I turn to my friends and give them a wave, look back ahead to see a MEDIAN right in front of me. SHIT!! I forgot there was a huge concrete median in the entrance of this parking lot. Welp, I grab a lot of front brake as any new rider does, the front end dives and I lose control of the bike. It falls over to the right side and my hand is still on the throttle trying to bring it back (like that's gonna work) and the thing revs like crazy as its falling over. The bike and my pride are on the ground while everyone is looking at the fucking newb on a bike. Who invited the dumb 20 year old kid? :( I got the bike picked and rode home with a bent lever and broken blinkers.

bhead1968
08-26-2012, 6:12 PM
Omg I think something interal broke when I was laughin to this.
I sir have done exactly the same things :)

And I think alot here recognize the situation..

Thanks for the reminder!

/Mickey

PS - Made my first nose dive on wet grass on my Suzuki GP125
In front of my girlfriends friends, wasnt that cockey after that.



ha.. yea.. #3 left me with two nasty lacerations on my foot. I was 200 miles from home and thankfully with friends who bandaged me up, and I rode all the way back home.

This thread is great.. we just all need to stay vigilant..ride safe...

fucknut0
08-26-2012, 10:31 PM
The first day I got my bike I tried to kick it over and bam I'm layin down in front of the neighbors shit sucked

beanhead78
08-26-2012, 10:41 PM
i just had one three days ago. my throttle grip is kinda tore up from being in two other fucking around drops. always pushing it back on. i i took a hard right at an intersecection infront of about fifty people and my grip slips off in my hand , in mid turn. lost my balance . all these people got to watch me pick my bike up. that one hurt. my pride that is.

beanhead78
08-26-2012, 10:49 PM
I have crashed 3 times...things i have learned:

1. Don't ride on the wet grass leaving your house...use your driveway!

2. Don't ride on to the wet grass when coming home..use your fucking driveway... dumbass!

3. Don't wear shorts, sandals, start your bike and rev it to the limiter, pop the clutch, and "attempt" a burnout.


yes yes... good lessons learned..

Ride safe..ha

ha ha my dumbass. we just bought a brand new jeep commander. the last year they made them. didnt have enough room between the van and the jeep. went on the grass lost it. ended fucking up the rear quarter on the jeep we probably had 3 days. wet grass sucks.

Redhorsetattoo
08-27-2012, 3:23 PM
Dropped my bike off the back of my truck. Missed the ramp altogether. Bent shifter, dented Pnut, scraped primary, broken clutch lever, failed forkstop, and the longest stream of obscenities I have ever uttered in my life. I'm pretty sure I made up some new ones.

Jonnycakes
08-27-2012, 4:19 PM
It's been many years ago but&hellip;pulled into a parking spot on my old FJ. Went to put my left foot down, only to find my shoe lace had gotten wrapped around the shifter. Tried to put down my right foot, but the bike was already leaning left so.&hellip;over it went with me attached. Luckily there were plenty of on lookers to see it happen.

mechdesign2k4
08-27-2012, 5:12 PM
Working on some wiring on the left side of the bike. Tried to move the starter solenoid out of the way without it disconnected... Bike was on gear... Whrrrr rrrrrrr errr exit stage left.....


-Mark
1980 GS850 Chop

snakeman40
08-27-2012, 6:51 PM
2002, riding my 1100 to Home Depot for a few things, about 60 mph. I looked to my left to see the airport and turned back to see the traffic had stopped, my new rear tire was too slick and BAM! right into the car ahead of me........it was my wife! and it was Feb. 14th.....Valentines Day! no shit! airlifted to St. Joseph's and spent our romantic night getting broken bones straightened! Love ya Hon! lol

XxXombee
08-27-2012, 9:44 PM
I love this thread...i take comfort in knowing I'm not the only one who's pulled a bonehead move. 1991, riding my first bike that i had just picked up about a month prior...so, you know, i was i pro rider by then. I was haulin ass trying to impress some chicks, flew up on a stop sign waaaaay too hot, grabbed waaaaay too much front brake and down i went. Front wheel grabbed really hard and i was catapulted into the air. Somehow, as i was trying to kiss my ass goodbye, i managed to inadvertently tuck and roll and was basically unhurt. Bike was pretty fucked and if i recall my underpants were in need of changing but other than a few bruises and scrapes i was fine...i learned not to ride like a total asshole that day.

2011FXDWG
08-27-2012, 10:44 PM
I was 15 and illegally riding my friends KLR250 with him on another bike. We just bought a few 6ers of beer from a kid we knew who was a cashier at a local grocery store and were going to pool party. Had the beers in a plastic bag just looped on the handlebars. We get to a T intersection and needed to go left. Light turns green, my buddy takes off and I'm about to go when I see that the car next to us is a bunch of hotties!! So I pull a bunch of throttle to look cool and dump the clutch. Take off on the back wheel straight through the intersection like Evel and biff it bigtime on the curb. Beer spraying all over. Girls ar laughing driving away while I'm trying to kick it back to life ASAP with a broken kick lever and about 20 cars watching me. My friend never saw it, thankfully.

Rolled up to the party a few minutes behind my friend and had to tell him that I owed him a new lever and was a few beers short.. Never really tried to show off after that for a few years. Damn that was embarrasing!

Buellbomb
08-28-2012, 4:34 AM
1983, winding down after Bike Week in the Keys. We were staying in Key Largo, but were partying in Key West, 100 miles away. A storm was brewing, so we headed north on US1 in a vain attempt to beat it. At the time, there was a helmet law in FL, so we had 3/4 helmets, but no face shields. After getting blasted with heavy rain on the seven mile bridge, we decided to stop at the Kmart on Marathon, to buy face shields. They carried stuff like that then.

Mission accomplished, we sloshed out to our shovels in the parking lot, sitting in 6 inches of water by then. There were lots of people standing there under the canopy, waiting for rides. Hopped on my bike, fired it up, and took off like a rocket...

...until I tried to straighten the bars, and noticed the padlock on the fork, just as it launched me into the puddle.

I had been pretty cold up to that point, but the embarrassment warmed me up as I picked up my pride and joy.

cnrc79
08-28-2012, 9:33 AM
Just the another night me and a friend was the leaving the bar and I decided to show off a little and hit some gravel and bit the dust. What was funny is before I could even get my bike up the owner of the bar was there helping me. He told me that he was inside watching the security cameras in his office and saw it happen. He told me for twenty dollars he would not put it on the internet.

VPNick
08-28-2012, 4:47 PM
got drunk a few weekends ago and lost all my keys...had to have my buddy give me a ride back to his place to pick up the bike and wire in a toggle switch (no more keys)...well as i am sitting on it about to leave he is looking it over and says something along the llines of "this thing is really a pice of work huh?"...sure is ha...well as i see his very cute sister looking out at us i decide i am the cool guy with the motorbike, go to start her up (i just converted it to jockey as well) and sure enough its in gear...bike shoots forward with me and my "oh shit" face and BAM right into his moms brick layered flower bed thingy...fuckin bricks everywhere...oops...they told me not to worry about it and i started her up and sputtered off into the dark clinging on to what little pride i had left

not the first time that has happened and sure it will not be the last ha

XxXombee
08-28-2012, 5:28 PM
Just the another night me and a friend was the leaving the bar and I decided to show off a little and hit some gravel and bit the dust. What was funny is before I could even get my bike up the owner of the bar was there helping me. He told me that he was inside watching the security cameras in his office and saw it happen. He told me for twenty dollars he would not put it on the internet.

so, did you leave $20 light, or is there a youtube video that desperately needs to be linked to this thread? :cheersmate:

inkface
08-28-2012, 6:29 PM
I was 15 and illegally riding my friends KLR250 with him on another bike. We just bought a few 6ers of beer from a kid we knew who was a cashier at a local grocery store and were going to pool party. Had the beers in a plastic bag just looped on the handlebars. We get to a T intersection and needed to go left. Light turns green, my buddy takes off and I'm about to go when I see that the car next to us is a bunch of hotties!! So I pull a bunch of throttle to look cool and dump the clutch. Take off on the back wheel straight through the intersection like Evel and biff it bigtime on the curb. Beer spraying all over. Girls ar laughing driving away while I'm trying to kick it back to life ASAP with a broken kick lever and about 20 cars watching me. My friend never saw it, thankfully.

Rolled up to the party a few minutes behind my friend and had to tell him that I owed him a new lever and was a few beers short.. Never really tried to show off after that for a few years. Damn that was embarrasing!

this had me rolling:clap for you:

xilefba
08-29-2012, 8:34 PM
My first wreck. I'm 14, my dad is teaching me how to ride a bike with a clutch. He borrows a 175 trail bike from a friend and we headed to the parking lot. First thing he is sitting on the back talking me through how to work the clutch. I rip the throttle open and dump the clutch and him. The bike stands up on its rear fender, I put my feet down and step off the rear of the bike. My dad is sitting on his ass, so I put my hand out to him to help him up. This is when he realizes I'm not still on the bike. he slaps my hand away and takes off running after the bike that is ghost riding about twenty feet away. As soon as he puts his hand on the rear fender it falls. Broken clutch lever and lesson over.

My second wreck. I'm 19, I am at my parents house visiting my folks and my dad is riding a early 80's suzuki dresser. It is parked in the yard facing the house. My dad asks me if I want to ride it. I don't want to but for some reason I said yes. He offers to move it off the grass, but I said no I can do it. I pop the clutch again, less throttle this time. But i run right up the four steps to my parents house. It somehow by some miracle doesn't bust down the door, but turns and does the most awesome wall ride across a window runs down the wall about ten feet and falls on it side smashing my parents bushes. I can't ride a motorcycle, but I'm a cat. When the bike hits the wall and turns it throws me back out in the yard. I land on my feet. I'm standing next to my dad, watching this bike idle laying on its side in the bushes. I just turned around got in my car and left, before my dad could even say one word. I have made my dad proud of me so many times. The last thing he told me before he passed was "work hard". But right before he said that, he told me "never have kids and never get married".

xsjoel
08-29-2012, 9:02 PM
I have made my dad proud of me so many times. The last thing he told me before he passed was "work hard". But right before he said that, he told me "never have kids and never get married".

Your dad was a smart fucking guy.

Jetblack
08-29-2012, 9:56 PM
When I was 14 I had a Yamaha DT100 Enduro; Friday at school a buddy invited me to go camping. Between my house and his they had taken up the railroad tracks, so I had my own stone paved road for miles anywhere. On the way over there to camp I took it easy just relaxing enjoying the ride. When camping was over, I got a call that friends had arrived to skate my mini in my back yard. So I hop on my Yammy and start heading home ass fast as possible.

I got it pegged go over a little road gulley and on the other side; some fucker had pulled a railroad tie right across the tracks in my path, I dropped down a gear and yanked the bars as hard as I could, because there was no avoiding it. I managed to nose bonk the top of the front wheel...but the rear wheel hit and donkey kicked way high; knocking my feet off the pegs, so I was all superman style in the air and came down...still holding the bars belly on the seat legs out behind me plank style...So I stayed upright, but couldn't pull myself back up throttle being held wide open, so I decide to tilt the bars and lay it down. I roll into a ball like sonic the hedge hog as soon as my feet come back around spring up and land.

I rush back to the bike, while kicking it over I notice close to 30 people at a fruit/veggie stand across the street standing there mouths and eyes gaping, it finally fires I hop on and continue tearing ass back home to skate with my buds. I was going over 60 when I hit the tie, so it must of been quite a spectacle to behold.

HM0125
09-01-2012, 9:54 PM
starting to think im cursed in the month of september. (9-02-10 is when i had my first accident) anyway, i went for a ride today and fucked my shit up.

hit some uneven asphalt as i was stopping next to the sidewalk and went flying.

other than some scrapes and a sore ankle (bike landed on it), i'm fine. i do remember as i fell, i hit the left side of my face. i'm so glad i only wear full face helmets right about now.

Redhorsetattoo
09-01-2012, 10:46 PM
First bike was an '81 sporty with a gay ass orange fairing. Paint was peeling, ugly as hell but it was my first, so it was beautiful.
Anyhoo. Went to pull into burger king feeling totally awesome, goosed it a little too hard and the rear wheel came out from under me. Sandy spot in the drive. I was fine, but the dick in the full size ford behind me didn't see in time and ran right over it. This was way before we all toted around our cell phones. Sat there until my cousin could get off work to come pick up the smushed bike. Lame.

dazegoneby
09-02-2012, 12:04 PM
After a FRISBEE lunch(drinking beers etc,throwing the frisbee)my friend and I where hauling ass on a gravel road.The road was paved with pea gravel along the sides ,this road was a 25 mph road.my friend and I where going like 65 or more .I picked the left side he the right side of the road.Up comes a fast right bend in road well he shot right ,i drifted to gravels, powerslide into the pine tree Hit tree on forhead of helmet did the" rag doll impersination" and flopped on the ground.Got up saw sporty over on it,s side went over picked it up,,, road back to base with no glasses, those bastards shot off my face ,lost to the grass of the field ,,,and you shoulda seen the bark torn off the tree,,,

tripn88
09-02-2012, 10:58 PM
Riding in the downtown gaslamp of san diego, and grabbed to much front brake after coming through a big dip. Wouldnt ya know it some jackass threw ice cream on the road and my font tire locked up and slid out. Bent my Z bars dented my tank and broke my foot. Didnt realize it till the next day I just knew it hurt real bad haha.

sohcool
09-02-2012, 11:00 PM
Three words:

God. Damn. Dogs.

I've hit 2, and went down both times.









and both times as I lay there bleeding they are standing like 10 feet away looking at me like "WTF did you do THAT for?!" before they stroll away without even a limp. (Low speeds both times).

Jetblack
09-03-2012, 4:56 AM
I was fine, but the dick in the full size ford behind me didn't see in time and ran right over it. This was way before we all toted around our cell phones. Sat there until my cousin could get off work to come pick up the smushed bike. Lame.

From what I know about many of the full size Ford truck crowd, he did see it and dick would be very accurate for those guys. Did the Ford dude just up and fucking leave after?

volcomskater77
09-05-2012, 1:02 PM
its about 8 o clock at night, i was rollin down the street on my ninja 250 and fuckin with my ipod, put it in my pocket, and started to pull my gloves on. got the left on and im doin the right and my bike just dies. i grab clutch, coast to a stop at the approaching stop sign. im like fuck, what just happened. switched to reserve, hit the button, nothin. i turn onto a side walk, push the bike an 1/8 mile uphill to get under a street light. i pulled the seat cuz my light was on but my starter wasnt doin anything. seat and side panels off checking the battery, grounds, fuel lines, anything i could think of. im about to call my buddy and i put my hand on the throttle housing. *CLICK* i look at the kill switch, it is now on. i push the button and the bike starts right up. i put everfything back together and continued on my way, shaking my head at the fact that i just spent 10 minutes on the side of the road with my kill switch off. DURRRRRRRRRRRR

FlameThrowerCustoms
09-06-2012, 7:43 PM
I have two to share... one on a bike and one in a car.

I just bought my very first bike from a co-worker... 1994 Sposrter 1200. I had zero idea how to ride... what lever/pedal did what or anything. I was just coasting around my driveway and the goddamned thing fell on top of me. I scrambled out from under it and jerked that bitch back up onto its wheels before anyone saw me.

I had just bought my '67 GTO as an 18-y/o punk-assed kid and was using it as daily transportation that summer at my engineering co-op job. There was this smokin' hot "older girl"... like maybe 24 or something... working in the same office. The coolest thing was that she drove a sweet '75 Formula 400 Firebird. One morning I pulled into a parking spot - all the parking spots had a piece of 4" pipe sunk into the ground in front of them - just as this hot piece-of-ass walked away from her Firebird several paring spots away. That broke my concentration and I ended up dinging the frone-end "T-panel" above the grille into that fuckin' piece of pipe and putting a nice little dent in it! The good news was that the Pontiac styling boys actually designed that front end such that the T-panel (which I discovered mine already had Bondo in it and needed to be replaced) hit objects FIRST before the chrome bumper (mine was/is pristine chrome). But pretty damned embarrassing... fortunately the chick did not notice my little mishap that morning.

www.flamethrowercustoms.blogspot.com
www.flamethrowercustoms.com

XxXombee
09-06-2012, 10:17 PM
Three words:

God. Damn. Dogs.

I've hit 2, and went down both times.









and both times as I lay there bleeding they are standing like 10 feet away looking at me like "WTF did you do THAT for?!" before they stroll away without even a limp. (Low speeds both times).

Holy shit, i had forgotten about the dog...it wasn't a wreck, but still kinda funny. I was out riding one day. It was a nice sunny Florida day and i was cruising this dirt road i had never been on...just to see where it went. It was pretty wide and had a 5'ditch overgrown with grass and shit on each side. I was going kinda slow, 35-40 maybe. Up ahead i noticed that the road turned sharp to the left...it was a 90 turn so i down shifted to 1st and slowed down to putt through it. All of the sudden this huge fucking rottweiler comes hauling ass out of the weeds on the left. I gunned it and lifted my left leg up...that bastard wanted a chunk of my ass soooo bad. i tried to outrun it, but i was suck in 1st and as much as i tried to kick my foot down and catch 2nd i just couldn't do it. So there i was, wide open in first, and that god damn dog was keeping up with me. Luckily it changed sides and went after my right leg after about a quarter mile and i was able to catch 2nd and outrun him. Hauled ass for about a mile and turned around. As i made it back to that turn, sure enough here he came again. This time i was at speed and i easily evaded the second attack. Got home and realized that the side of the bike was covered in slobber and there was actually teeth marks in the seat...really close to where my ass was. Asshole dog.

johnnyvolatile
09-20-2012, 7:08 PM
I still get embarrassed about this...

I had just bought my very first bike. A brand new 2009 Nightster. I had never ridden a motorcycle before in my life, save for the day I went and bought it and rode it home. Yes, I bought a motorcycle with zero knowledge of how they worked. 20 minutes after signing the paperwork, I was doing 90 on the 405. Nailed it.

The first Saturday off work, I decided I wanted to cruise up PCH. I took Mulholland Drive from my house, knowing that at some point it dead ends at the coast. Everything was going great, I was following a pack of bikers, keeping my distance by about a half mile. (being that I was a beginner, I didn't wanna piss anyone off by riding too close).

Up ahead I notice that, one by one, each biker in front of me would flash their brakes. Keeping in mind that I'm a good distance behind them, and I'm new to riding, I had no idea what they were trying to signal. Then I would lose sight of them because of all the rolling hills and turns.

On this particular day, it meant, "hey, there's a 90 degree turn ahead, and the speed limit isn't posted, so slow down". Up to this point I'm going 50, like everyone else. Then I see the turn.

I had no idea what to do, so I did what I heard you're supposed to do in turns - "look where you want to go, not where you're going". I managed to get down to 45..ish, and turn my head completely to the left, where I am now looking directly into oncoming traffic. I lean the bike as hard as I can, until I realize that my left peg has dug into the ground so hard that it's lifted totally up and pushed my foot to just above the battery box. Now, I'm in the middle of a 90 degree turn, the bike nearly flat on the ground, directly on the double yellow lines, and staring right into oncoming traffic. I panic, and realize that if I don't straighten up, I'm going head first into death.

I managed to straighten up, but could not for the life of me get my brain to convince my hand and foot to apply the breaks. I made the mistake off looking where I was going, and rode straight up onto the hill that is creating this turn. This hill, it has rocks bigger than most compact cars.

I rode over every single one of those rocks, for about 30 yards. All the while I could see out of the corner of my eye, roughly 25 bikes passing me by, looking at me like, "what the HELL is this retard doing"?!?!?

30 yards of no bullshit, straight up, 45MPH rock crawling on a Nightster later, and I come to a complete stop. No dropping the bike. No scratches. No broken anything. I didn't even stall out! I finally snapped back to reality and realized I was just standing on the shoulder, holding the clutch and front break, just staring at my hands. I could hear a million different bikes around me. I looked up, and realized I was 20 yards from the Rock Store (http://www.rock-store.com/).

I never realized they got so busy on the weekends.

shovelpan69
09-20-2012, 8:21 PM
I live in middlefield which is amish central i was going around a 25 mph curve way too fast and my bike bottomed out on the pipe. Me and my girl were on the bike and it slid off into the ditch i caught her mid roll and jumped down to shut the bike off.

I made sure she was ok and then called my brother to come pick us up. I had road rash all down my right arm and she had it on her knee but other than that we were fine. At this point the amish people who had apparently been having a party of some sort come running out of the house that we crashed in front of. They helped me get the bike out of the 4 foot ditch and let me park it in their driveway.

I went to urgent care and got the absolute shit scrapped out of my arm for about an hour, then we went back to pick up the bike. when we got there all the amish people were crowed around it and taking turns sitting on it. We stayed for about 10 min and let the little kids have their turn on the CRAZY FUTURE CONTRAPTION. Then we went on our marry way.

Figjam
01-27-2013, 7:07 PM
Back in the day, I was about 15, I had hundreds of mile of RR track service roads to run the shit out of my XR 500 but still had to hit the main road in places to cross the hiway, coming home from the lake and a day of swimming and fucking off with buddies I had to hit an overpass over hiway 80, I was movin along about 35 - 45, sneakers, shorts and a t shirt and gladly a full face helmet. Just as I get to the bridge part of the overpass I see the scroungy doucebag that used to try and sell us kids his dirtweed so being 15 and an asshole I flip the fucker off and goose it a little. So, one hand on the throttle and the other flippin the bird I hit what turned out to be blood on the road from a deer someone had hit that morning, front goes out and down, I go up in the air and land on top of the skidding bike, ass across the pipe and the bars in my ribs. We stopped slidin down the tar and I jump up in total pain and grab the bike and get it to the roadside only to realize Im buck ass naked from the waist down. I guess when I hit the tar my shorts got shredded and were hanging around my ankle.........beat and quite bloody, trying to cover up my junk the afore mentioned scumbag parks his ass on the guardrail laughing so hard I think he pissed himself. After a few threats and nearly taking his head off with my helmet I headded over to my GFs house knowing her mom was a nurse. Spent the rest of the day having my GF and her mom pick gravel outa my body, grand total was 3 broken ribs, road rash from head to toe on my left side, broken thunb and I cant even remember what damage was done to the bike but I did ride away.
The hell of it all was that I had to hide all my injuries around the house all summer so my mother wouldent know what happened, she was damn near killed on the back of a bike when she was young and was totally against me having a bike, I knew if she ever found out hat would be the end of my bike........made it about 2 weeks without her knowing till she saw me w/o a shirt on, figgured I was fucked then, she looks at me with that look only a mother can give and asks "you learn anything when you were sliding down the road on your ass?"........GFs mom had called her the day it happened, she had known all along and was having a great time watching me try to hide it from her.........learned several lessons that day but the one that really stuck was never try to fool mothers....it NEVER works........

speedandnoise
01-28-2013, 7:29 AM
Nice work everyone, now I don't feel so stupid! Seems like half of these stories are about a bike that was just acquired. I had just gotten an SR500 and was fixing it up at a friends shop, putting dual discs up front and stainless lines front and rear. Well we got the front brakes working great but couldn't get the rear line bled, so no rear brakes. It had gotten dark and some friends stopped by so of course I was showing off dirt tracking it around his gravel parking lot in the light of the garage. I got to the edge of the lot towards the grass and remember him telling me to stay off the grass or his landlord would get mad. I grabbed a handful of front brake and found the fresh dew on the grass. My friends said they didn't know what had happened- they just saw my lights go out and the bike die. They didn't even come out to see if I was ok. I had slid the bike out and flipped over the bars breaking a rib but the bike only had a bent shifter and bars. I limped the bike over to the garage, showed them the damages and had a laugh.

outofstepwiththeworld
01-28-2013, 3:41 PM
This story doesn't embarrass me too much, wasn't my fault, but last March I was on my 75' CB750, just finished some wrenching on it that morning and it was a beautiful day on Jacksonville Beach, FL so I took the bike out that day. I was enjoying my cruise, and approached a red light. I came to a stop, and looked to my left and saw a couple older guys working at the car wash looking at me shaking their heads in approval, as if to say "Nice bike, man." Their facial expressions quickly changed into an "Oh shit" face and in a split second I felt my bike start to move quickly as I hear a SMACK! noise and felt my entire body move in a whiplash motion with my arms flying through the air. Before I can react, I come to a stop and try to figure out what the hell just happened and how I'm still sitting on my bike, when I realize the asshole behind me drove right into me and my bike was smashed and wedged into the front of his work truck, which was the only thing that kept me from going down. I quickly hopped off the bike and noticed the pain starting to shoot into my legs. the front of his truck actually hit me in my back, leaving with with a fractured L4 and pretty significant soft tissue damage. I did 8 months of physical therapy, acupuncture, manual therapy, you name it. 10 months later and I still hurt every day, some days I can barely put my shoes on. The worst part is that I'm only 24 years old and feel like I'm 90. However, I still ride every day. I had to switch to a Softail and some taller bars, but whatever it takes to stay on 2 wheels. Hopefully with time and continued stretching, treatment, etc I'll feel normal again, but at least it wasn't worse and I'm still alive to ride another day!

Jjm4life
01-28-2013, 3:57 PM
my intro to my bike:

first ever attempt to kick start. lost my balance trying way too hard. i fell and took the damn thing with me, breaking the brake lever.

of course this is right in front of the guys from choppahead.

cmorey103
02-14-2013, 6:42 PM
Last summer I was working at the local supermarket and was running late for work. I hauled ass there and flew through the parking lot like I owned the place into my regular spot. I quickly turned the bike off, threw down my kickstand lift my leg over and BAM, me and the bike are on the ground and it took all my skinny little strength to pick the magna up and when I finally get the bike stationary I can see that the freshly poured asphalt parking lot had heated up and softened in the 100+ degree heat. My kickstand had sunk into the asphalt and pulled a good sized chunk out and she came down. I secretly felt like an ass for the rest of the day thinking no one noticed, until a coworker came up later and asked "What happened, I saw you lay your bike down standing still, HAHAHA" then my shame was much more public..

Nice, similar thing happened to me, only i wasnt on the bike when it fell. came up from the beach to my bike on its side (i expected some asshole pushed it over which isnt uncommon) and it ended up being fresh asphalt in 90 degree weather...my ghetto lean was too much and it sunk right in

Smallston
02-14-2013, 8:32 PM
Locked up my front brakes in a parking lot, skidded on my face. Still cant grow a soul patch.

dhallilama
02-15-2013, 10:58 AM
not sure where to start...

10 years old; Kawasaki KD 80, wide open throttle about 20 minutes after I got the bike... started fishtailing... i grabbed a handful of front brake and ate it. Limped for weeks.

repeat this a bunch of times, with a bunch of bikes and a bunch of different situations, all followed by some kind of limp.

i've ridden on the street for 23 years, dirt for 30 years. not sure how many times i went down, but i'm sure most of them were my fault. :D

Jhall573
02-16-2013, 1:19 PM
A few months back I was going to the orthopedic to get my knee checked out because of something completely unrelated. There was nowhere to park at all so i rode around to an access road of the side of the parking lot. This place was attached to the hospital by the way. I pulled a u turn and was headed back when a fucking deer hops out in front of me. Needless to say it scared the hell out of me. I swerved and laid it down off over a small bank right into some saw briars. I tried to get the bike back up the hill but it had rained that morning and the ground was still wet. I left it there and went to my appointment. They checked my knee said it was good and I called my wife and a wrecker to pull it back up the bank. I checked it out hopped on and rode home.

me
02-16-2013, 2:55 PM
I've never had an embarassing non-fatal wreck....I've always died

81xs650
02-18-2013, 5:44 PM
figured I'd add one of my own. when I was 18 I was trying to be a big shot and had just talked this girl I had been chasing into going for a ride with me. we get down to the garage my brother was renting at the time, the bike was parked in the back room, and there was about a 30ft L shaped stretch of grass between the back door and the parking lot. started up the bike let it warm up alittle and started bringing it around front, and figured I would show off alittle and kick the back tire out as I came around the corner of the garage. well the grass was still wet from a rainstorm earlier in the day and the bike came right around caught a rut and highsided. didn't hurt much other then the turnsignals, which I had planed on taking off the bike anyway. but it destoryed my chance of getting laid that night.

tomtom
04-06-2013, 7:25 AM
about 20 years ago was out on some curvey roads in the spring with a buddy and granny sta

ition wagon pulled out of a side road, I tried to go into dirtbike mode grabbed some rear brake stood up on pegs to hop through a ditch and......suprise!! mud bog!! flew over my handlebars and landed face first in the middle of the yard. came to with a bunch of harleys stopped and thier chicks were wiping blood off my face while they laughed thier asses off! my xs didnt even fall over my buddy and some guy pulled it out of the mud and he went back later and rode it home for me. i had a concussion and got a bunch of stiches in my face and head, now i wear a helmet!!!!

Shock
04-06-2013, 3:27 PM
never had any wrecks on the street but I had plenty of then on dirt bikes and stuff. I dont remember how old i was maybe 7 or 8 but we had this homebuilt monstrosity of a trike, it had a fiberglass body, snowmobile engine and some sandrail type rear tire on it. my grandad had got it running and I wanted to drive it so he puts me on it and says go for it, i took off down the dirt road from his house but the problem was i didnt know the hell to stop this thing. i ended up running it off the edge of the road along the side of a cornfield and finally stopped when i slammed the front time into a nice sized boulder and gashed my forehead open on the handlebars, thats the last time i ever rode that thing.

When i was a teenager probably 15 or so, I had a yz100 and in my boredom I was seeing how far i could ride wheelies up the dirt road next to my house. One day I was moving along in about 3rd gear and i pulled the front end up and just as i got to about where i wanted to ride it i opened up the throttle just a hair more and hit the powerband, the front end shot stright up causing me to proceed to slide off the seat and since my hand was on the throttle that just cranked it wide upen and the bike stood up on the rear fender, threw my ass off the back and I landed on my knees, removing the skin from both of them as I sat there watching the bike backflip and then tumble down the road. that actually ended with a trip to the ER and having them scrub the hell out of my legs to remove all of the dirt in the cuts.

same bike, same road I was on a long straight section and just layed off it after having it in 5th gear wide open. so I'm coasting along, hands off the bars and i hit a big patch of shale in the road which causes the front tide to start fishtailing and finally slamming hard to the left, sending me over the bars at a high rate of speed, of course I'm not wearing a helmet and only dressed in shorts and a tshirt. ..once again a trip to the ER, no broken bones but a whole lot of bruises and road rash.

JMLewis87
04-06-2013, 7:28 PM
This doesn't even qualify as a wreck, but damn was it EMBARRASSING.

I went to a local bike night this last Thursday and all of our bikes are lined up out front of this Hooters. I'm the only dude with a short chop XS650, everyone else was sport bikes but that's all that's around my area so whatever. A company was putting on this even and doing free giveaways of gear and cool schwag so my buddy and I decided to stay later than I had planned. My XS is battery less and runs off of a capacitor so sometimes my headlight is kind of finicky and doesn't always want to work without causing the bike to die.

I went out to where all of our bikes are lined up and there's a bunch of people outside. I just wanted to fire up my bike and check the headlight and make sure tonight would be a night it would cooperate so I could stay later and ride home in the dark. My bike is kick only and I almost ALWAYS put it back into neutral before shutting it off. This apparently was the one time I neglected to do that. I'm standing on the right side with one hand on the handlebars and jump up to kick it and the damn thing still being in gear lurches forward, pops up the kickstand and starts falling towards the bike next to it. Man if it wasn't for my catlike reflexes managing to fully grab and pull my bike back upright it would have fallen into the bike next to it and created an epic domino effect with motorcycles.

I tried my best to play it off but no such luck haha.

Motocrash
04-06-2013, 10:24 PM
#1. Nice sweeping left hand turn... coming off full lean, feed in the power, drift the rear a little. Next lap, a little more juice, a little bigger slide. Next lap notice small crowd gathering near corner, feed in a little more power, rear comes around, back off a little then feed 'er some more.... rear comes around farther... steering hits stop, highside. Seperated collar bone, broken radius, 2 broken ribs, broken wrist, one destroyed brandy new GSXR race bike.

#2. Unloading WR450 supermoto from trailer (I don't use a ramp) drop rear tire off end of trailer, step off trailer with right foot, nice pointy left footpeg buries itself into leg just below knee, foot swings under bike, I fall onto my back (knee still hung on peg), bike lands on me. left hand still holding onto left grip, left foot still on trailer, right hand still holding onto rear fender. 6 stitches, 3 inside, 3 outside. Nice round of applause from fellow riders.

#3. While adjusting the chain on my new 560SMR, stumble forward a little and bang head ever so slightly on rear fender. 5 stitches, blood all over garage, wife reminds me that it the second time in 2 years that I hurt myself on a motorcycle that I wasn't even riding. The next time I go to the garage, 3 year old son says "Are you going to work on your motorcycle?" I say yes, he asks "Are you going to wear your helmet?"
:o

beedle
04-06-2013, 10:39 PM
I had had my bike, an '06 Triumph Speedmaster, for all of two weeks. It being Colorado I had been stuck with shitty weather right after I got it home, so the first clear, snow free day I hopped on and took off. Not even two blocks from my house there is an overpass over a drainage canal, and all the water flows down the road, into the drains on the side, and down. Well, that whole thing was a sheet of ice. I hit it going maybe 25mph, thought "Shit, Ice, I better brake" and like anyone who has owned a bike for two weeks grabbed a big handful of front brake. I had no idea what happened, but I was face down in the street. Broke my thumb, skinned both knees, bent my shift lever, and learned a valuable lesson.

Broke86Yam
04-07-2013, 1:46 AM
I was on my DR650 making a left and the front tire went down. Front of the bike slid to the right and I ate shit. Happened right in front of a school. Nothing hurt but my pride.

ibuiltmine
04-07-2013, 9:17 AM
When I lived in Gillette, WY they have this HUGE BMW motorcycle ride in at this huge camping and events complex. All kinds of BMW and ADV kind of bikes show up along with a bunch of RVs and stuff. I had my littel GN400 chopper out there kicking up dirt and just being loud and obnoxious! Well, I was tearing out across a dirt field and then slowed down and was weaving in and out of bikes when I had to go down a curb. Well, the bottom of the bike bottomed out and stopped me instantly from about 15mph. I went over the bars, but held onto the throttle, luckily the bike just stood there, rear wheel off the ground, full throttle in 1st gear and me sitting there like an asshole! Pretty embarrassing!

shorty65
04-08-2013, 3:48 PM
Took my brother's Gsxr 750 for a spin, I needed the curb at the house to start it and get going. I'm 5'4" and a buck 30 soaking wet. Hit the rural road grabbed some gears and headed back to the house and hit a 4 way stop, thoughts of a slow cali stop planned in my head when I noticed a cop one car back waiting for his turn. Came to a stop not thinking, went to plant my foot when the beast just kept coming. Bike laid me out on the asphalt leg pinned for a sec. Got it up and running and stood next to the thing like a f-ing retard waiting for my chance to run into the intersection so I could jump back on and go. Awesome time for sure.

Hatchet54
04-08-2013, 5:02 PM
First bike I ever owned. Had the guy I bought it from (this massive black guy) deliver it to my house in the back of his truck. He helps me get it down into the street in front of my house, and asks me specifically, "do you want me to help you get it inside?" And trying to be a huge badass to impress this scary guy I'm all like "no way man, I got this".

I wait until his truck is just about around the corner, and then I flip the kickstand and start to side-walk the bike up into the driveway. I swear, the second the kickstand flips up the bike is on the ground on it's right side with a massive WHACK. I'm thinking aw shit, I'm glad I waited till that guy drove away before I tried to walk it up the driveway, cause that would have been super embarrassing!
So I go around to lift the bike up, and as I'm getting it up onto the wheels again I see out of the corner of my eye the guy's truck backing ever so slowly into my field of view, and he stops the truck directly in front of me parallel to the bike with the window down, giving me the most judgmental dumbfounded look I've ever seen a person give. Then he gets slowly out of the car and mutters "alright, alright..." as he walks over to me.

I start bumbling like an idiot ("I think there's an oil patch here") and he just ignores me and says "you push, I'll steer it". We get it up into the garage and park it in the middle of the floor. Before leaving he asks me "this where you want it?" And I say "Yeah, I'll move it over there later today," pointing at the corner near the boat door. He gives me this long stare like yeah, I bet you will, and lets out this long painful sigh and then leaves.

Heck, imagine yourself as a 19-year-old white boy who just bought his first motorcycle and wants to be a biker. You drop the frikking thing in the street the first time you touch it, and the person who walks over to help you out gives you a look like this:

http://battlefieldo.com/attachments/black-snake-moan-jpg.1811/

And that was my introduction to motorcycles.

I was just so f'ing embarrassed and terrified that this is how I remember it. He was a super nice dude, actually. I'm exaggerating. A little.

ACEUSMC
09-06-2013, 9:01 PM
So about a month ago I had a older 4 wheeler i had got on a trade at my place. Decided it was to much work to restore it so I was going to sell it as is for some quick cash. didnt have a throttle so i made one out of the rear break pedal....(DONT DO THIS) also it didnt have a bat so a push start was needed. I rigged it all up and took it for a ride around my street. Now comes the trouble. All was well and two guys come to see it. After many many tries to start it with no luck i spray some carb cleaner right into the open mouth of the carb. I lift the back tiers run a bit and drop it she takes off like a light. I hold on and she continues to excellerate more and more. I hit the kill switch nothing front brake nothing as I am going 45 by now and they are shit. I hit the rear break nothing but make it go faster. At this point no more street just a big house in front of me so I make the executive choice to cut the bars and dump it. I end up with broke thumb bad road rash and a sprain in my neck. I pop right up like nothing just went on and see the two old boys running my way. Then I look at the quad in about 12 more parts then it should be in. They ask if I am ok I say ya cuz I am pissed and dont feel to bad yet. He says to me I will give you $260 for it I say enjoy and walk back to my house cash in hand. I go straight to the hospital and then to the phone store to replace the I phone that is in two parts in my pocket. All and all I came out 160 up and the buyer posted on the page I advertized on that it was a great sale I even crash tested it for him. Big old hit to the pride.

BurgBob
09-07-2013, 11:23 PM
Friday afternoon as I'm leaving campus I see this chick who wouldn't give me the time of day at the bar the night before. We make eye contact and I go to let out the clutch and take off when I kill it. :banghead:

No wonder she wouldn't give me the time of day.

DeathTrapFXR
09-09-2013, 12:50 PM
I got run off the road in Dallas, driver never stopped, my buddy said I was doing front flips in the median (not wearing a helmet) I broke my neck, 3 ribs and punctured my right lung. If not for my friend flipping me over in the ditch I would of probably drowned in the muddy water. my FXR was totaled, bad day.

But yea for a funny story, the other night I was drunk and fell over in my garage while sitting on my bike haha embarrassing haha

OpenRoadDesign66
09-09-2013, 1:38 PM
Had a date. Brought the girl back to my place to show her my bike. I went to casually sit on it, show off a bit. Slid off the seat and got the foot peg right between the ass cheeks. And still managed to get laid. Probably a pity fuck.

Redhorsetattoo
09-28-2013, 12:12 PM
From what I know about many of the full size Ford truck crowd, he did see it and dick would be very accurate for those guys. Did the Ford dude just up and fucking leave after?

He leaned out the driver side window after turning around in the Parking lot and yelled "What the hell kid!!" I had already hopped up by the time he'd turned around so i guess he assumed i was fine. But yeah, he never even got out of the truck. Just split. Kinda hurt my feelings being 16 and all.:(

Jesse13
09-28-2013, 12:47 PM
Hell on wheels 2011 . Had a few to many beers at the event . After watching old dirt bikes doing jumps all day It was time to leave and we were all hot dogging it a little bit in the dirt parking lot on are way out . I had a few bikes and a van behind me . At the end of the parking lot were it turned from dirt to pavement , I gave it a little to much throttle exiting sideways ! (showoff) My bike went right out from underneath me . I slid like a baseball player sliding into 2nd base . In mid slide I managed to jump up to my feet (stuntman style ) My buddy's behind me & the van had a good laugh .. (pride hurt) But it must of been funny to see. :clap for you::asshat:

Another time I pulled into a lot with a bunch of other bikes and was sitting on my bike talking to a friend in a car . I jumped off my bike to give some bro hugs . (forgot to put the kickstand down ) Down goes my bike ! IDIOT :o

Umph
09-28-2013, 1:17 PM
My dumb ass tiring to kick over my trump a little tips last night with baggie pants on. Inside pant leg gets caught on the kicker pedal on the down kick. I loose my balance and slowly tip to the right. Looks like a game of twister. My right foot and right hand are on the ground holding up the bike from hitting. I can't push off the ground with my leg because the kicker pedal is still caught inside my pants leg. Lucky that triumph has big puffy foot pegs just kind of rested on the right side. My handle bars being only 30' inches off the ground also made the tip bearable..

no damage just a little scuff on rubber foot peg.. It would have been embarrassing if anyone was watching.
While perched there for a minute I couldn't help but think, did I leave the oven on?

xyster220
09-30-2013, 5:42 AM
So I had recently picked up a 99 Sporty for a chop project, I rode it around occasionally while I was getting parts together and whatnot, but really hadn't taken the time to get to "know" the bike.

I had been trying for some time to get my wife more enthused about riding, and figured it might help if I taught her how to ride. I had her follow me in her car to a local high school parking lot, which I figured would give us ample room for some lessons, went through the whole brief about what was what and stuff. I even had her doing pretty well right off the bat on some slow speed straight stuff, and before long thought she might be ready to try some turns. I rode back and forth a few times in a slow, long figure 8 to show her what I wanted her to do. She seemed to be a little more shaky with this but picked it up after a few rounds. About this time she said that her hand was getting sore from the clutch and we took a quick smoke break.

When I went to go start the bike afterward, I was talking about something or other and didn't even check for the neutral light as I started the bike. Bad habit but my Yamaha had a kickstand sensor to where you couldn't start the bike with it down without the clutch pulled.

Needless to say the bike fired up in gear and lurched over, damn near on top of my wife while I'm standing there feeling like an asshat. I'm sure I was beet red from embarassment, but I tried to play it cool and without missing a beat said, "Two important lessons here, one: you can't start it like that, and two: let's learn how to pick up a down bike":clap for you:

She still reminds me of this from time to time, and while it didn't scare her away, unfortunately the tight clutch did. She had a few more lessons before throwing in the towel on riding, at least on the Sportster, as I started tearing it down for the chop a month or so later.

Maybe when I get done with this one I can talk her into an xs650 or something, provided the clutch isn't as tight ;)

gabbydad
09-30-2013, 11:28 AM
1st one ever:

Riding my brand new Hinckley Bonnie for a couple of months. I need to get fuel so I make my way towards gas station. Busy intersection, plenty of "witnesses", as I approach I'm at too sharp of an angle and the driveway has a bit of a lip left. My front wheel catches said lip dumping me on my side. Bent handle bars, smashed mirror and turn signal and a soccer mom behind me asking me if I need help.

Most damage done:

I'm on one of those stupid polar bear rides with a bunch of cruisers. It's January, roads clear but snow remnants on the grass. We're coming up 32 north of New Hope, etc. 5 bikes in front of me, 2 Goldwings behind me. We go over a small crest and sure enough on the down-slope, runoff had refrozen in the shade covering both lanes completely in ice. The 5 in front make it through, I come over a bit too fast, not seeing ice yet. As I crest the hill my front catches a small ice rut and of course I apply front brake dumping right over. Both Goldwings behind me in an effort to not hit me lay down as well.

How the fuck am I still on this planet?:banghead:

seaking
09-30-2013, 1:43 PM
Had a date. Brought the girl back to my place to show her my bike. I went to casually sit on it, show off a bit. Slid off the seat and got the foot peg right between the ass cheeks. And still managed to get laid. Probably a pity fuck.

Bitch sounds kinky, don't let her get away.

I was riding around E Gary (Beverly Shores) and turned around to go home at a steel foundry entrance, hit a little oil and spun out a bit on takeoff--but saved it.
It rained 5 minutes and I figured I'd stop in for a beer/warm up before I started home. Came up to the bar entrance at I swear 15 mph and SLID right past it, ended up in the driveway of the bar and it was like nobody gave a fuck.
At that point I knew what a fucking turtle feels like, on my back, the bike had me pinned to the road......gas trickling out the tank. Thank god it died
My pride didn't want anyone to stop and help, but nobody even asked if I was all right. "Eh, fuck m he'll get up or burn." After giving it a minute, I wormed out from under it.

I ended up limping it home, put it up on the bench and tore it down, rebuilt it that winter.

Acosi151
09-30-2013, 2:23 PM
Man, I totally wasn't going to post this until this thread popped back up.

I noticed my front tire getting soft on the weekend and didn't think twice about it until I rounded the last corner on my way to work this morning and the bastard rolled off the bead leaving me in a pile with my leg stuck under the bike.

Luckily an old lady (like 60's) was driving by and helped me lift my bike off my leg. :p Then at least 10 coworkers drove by as I was gathering up my stuff to push it to the side of the road.

Lesson of the story: Serious, Avon Speedmasters need a tube.. even if you're putting them on a mag wheel. I knew that. I'm a dumbass.

Post Script: Your plant supervisor (AKA the Heavy) will engage you in an interesting conversation when he sees you headed out into traffic with a company fork lift to retreive your bike from the end of the street :banghead:

aaronrkelly
10-01-2013, 3:54 AM
.....Ive got 3 good ones.....well the 2nd and 3rd kinda run together.

#1

Picture it......1994.....Im 14 and riding my fucking rad 1979 Honda Express. Its a sunny day......Im rocking some shorts and hauling major ass (probably 30mph) down the gravel alley leaving my house.

For some reason (really, Ive got no fucking clue) there is an *orange* laying in the alley. I didnt see it and hit that fruit of mass destruction and bam.......Im on the ground. Even better yet my uncle was coming up the alley and got a great view of my retard ass sliding down the gravel. I had to wrap my leg in gauze and wear panty hose for a whole week.....might be the reason I feel the need to wear pretty clothes sometimes. I eat the shit out of oranges when I get the chance.



#2

I start hanging out on ADVRider and thinking maybe Im just a fat Travis Pastrana deep down inside. I buy a dual sport......KLR650. I spend all summer riding some fairly rough single track, forest trails etc. Go on a few dual sport rides - no problem. Fast forward like 8 months.

Im riding a regular gravel road.....and Im gawking around enjoying the scenery....puting along at a break neck 15mph. I look ahead JUST in enough time to see a pretty fair rut......transfer weight to the rear.....apply throttle.....front tire pops right over.........and the rear falls square in that sumabitch and the rear steps out. Like an inexperienced fat guy on a KLR I put my foot down.....I know better but its a bitch to override that reaction.....and my foot goes IN the rut.....and it pulls me off the bike. Im in some serious pain.....but Im setting in the rode looking like an idiot so I grit my teeth and hold in the pain....but yeah....its hurts unreal. My girlfriend was riding with me and shortly behind. She pulls up and shuts the bike off and sets it back upright (not an easy feat, a KLR is a big bitch). For some reason she really thinks I need to take my boot off so she can look at my foot. Im thinking this is a bad idea.....but hey.....shes got a vagina and that makes her one step closer to a nurse than me.....I take it off. Hurts.....hurts bad.....looks like a foot. I put the boot back on (damn near in tears doing it). Get the fuck back on my bike and take off towards the ER (about an hour ride). Went ahead and took the scenic route along the river because I figured this was gonna be my last motorsickle ride in awhile cause I really sprained the shit out of my foot. Ride right up to the door and hobble inside.....normal ER shit. Take some x-rays......when the x-ray dude hit the button and the image popped up I heard him say under his breath "oh shit".

To shorten an already long story......various broken bones in ankle, tib/fib split at the base, broken fib - 3 months of NO weight bearing....2 months of transition to weight bearing. I walked like a 90 yr old for most of year.

The bike, however, was completely fine.....not so much as a scratch.



#3

Ive been setting in bed for something like 3 weeks with my foot in the air (see above story)......pissing in a plastic urinal cup thingy......high on pain meds. Im growing very sick of this shit.....its July 4th - MERICA!

Its my brake foot....eh...fuck it. I crutch myself out to my bagger. Now Ive got this big metal boot thingy on my foot.....but I think I can make it work. Bungee cord my crutches on the back and get back to living. So here I am.....wearing shorts (cant get pants over metal boot) and a tshirt.....big metal boot on my busted ass ankle/foot.....I look like a complete retard bent on my own destruction but hey, Im feeling some wind.

Epic day, perfect weather....2 hours of great riding.....until - yeah...........

I come up on a chunk of concrete blown out of the highway.....and its like a crevice.....but wide....I try to avoid it.....but.......that shit didnt work. It swallowed the front tire......and hurled me and the bike to the ground at like 40.

My GF was behind me again.....staggered to the right. I slid across the pavement towards her.......my helmeted head hit her bike near the foot peg (she said my neck folded so sick looking she thought I was dead). I slid into the bike hard enough I took it out from under her......the bike and her went down thru the ditch.

So after sliding/tumbling across the pavement at 40mph......in shorts and a tshirt......with a metal boot/brace on my foot which is so fucked Im not even supposed to put any weight on it.......I stand up and Im completely fine. No road rash.....no bruises.......not a scratch. The girlfriend and her bike are fine......shes ride it up out of the ditch.

My bike......its flat fucked. Didnt total it but it was a solid $8K worth of damage.

My boss was really impressed to see my name in the paper for a motorcycle accident while I was off work recovering from a motorcycle accident.....ha ha ha. Thank god Ive worked there like 13 years.....I had 6 months of sick time.

Bonus picture of me riding a raging awesome Honda Spree, its not the widow maker from the "orange incident" but a different one I rode in the back yard honing my skillz (yeah with a z).

https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/39757_1226225275082_3969689_n.jpg

Bonus bonus picture of me riding with the crutches.....probably about an hour before re-wrecking like a tard.

https://scontent-a-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/260035_1597727842414_5276018_n.jpg

Yes....that IS a motorcycle.....no its not an abomination from NASA.....no I dont like Star Trek.

aaronrkelly
10-01-2013, 4:24 AM
Just thought of another one.....not as funny unless you have kids, then you will feel my pain.

Side info: we race quads and dirt bikes around my house so my driveway has a bank literally cut into it. By we I mean me and my kids, starting from the age of 2/3ish they have been riding go karts, quads, dirtbikes.......they know there way around motorized stuff. At this point my son is 9.....my daughter 6.

Ive got a sidecar rig.....a Russian URAL.

Im backing it up out of the garage (its got a legit reverse). Im backing up and as I crest the top of the driveway bank the side car transitions to the other side causing an odd hop......really weird, still not sure how it happened......but it did.

The sidecar "hopped" and went complete over the other direction.....pinning me under it.

Im now under a 900lb hack......its still running and my leg is under the "kinda warm" exhaust....bonus that gas is pouring all over me and I cant reach the kill switch.

My son comes *BLASTING* off the porch at a dead run (.....and he never runs.....trust me - FAR to much effort).

Fucking A - here comes my son to save me......hes gonna shut the bike off.

N - O - P - E

HIM: "Kat (his sister) took my pop and I told her to give it back but she wont"

Are you fucking kidding me?! Actually....in all honesty I wasnt even surprised....typical.

I calmly say "this may not be the time, Im a little busy right now".

To which he says "OK I'll wait" and walks off to lean against the house.

......:rolleyes:

After some squirming I got to the kill switch.....and got out from under the bike......and got it flipped back over.

.......and I let his sister drink his damn pop to. :cool:




Bonus picture of pop drinking sister

https://scontent-b-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/30200_1187252820795_5428542_n.jpg

https://scontent-b-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/58559_1264220784946_4942036_n.jpg

.....this is her at 2 riding a go kart (after a really bad self inflicted hair cut).

https://scontent-b-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/165769_1368427310044_379233_n.jpg

and my "helper"

https://scontent-a-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/5415_1036201204599_4391781_n.jpg

m14man
02-21-2014, 11:24 AM
When i was 14 i Flipped my new to me Suzuki rm125 over backwards a few times launching me over backwards. After that I learned how to use the clutch properly.

sent from my toaster

forgivemeasinner
02-24-2014, 1:28 PM
After a long day of riding then hitting a couple bars on the way home we pull up to the toll to get back into PA.

Man... I seriously chuckled to myself at these. Thanks for sharing! haha... Pride sucks anyway, right?:D

Cheers! -FMS

forgivemeasinner
02-24-2014, 1:49 PM
I had just got my bike up and running but still had some bugs to work out. One of which was the squishy rear brake.

Laughed the entire time I was reading this. Nice save!

Cheers! -FMS

forgivemeasinner
02-24-2014, 3:37 PM
I just read the complete thread to this point and had some pretty good laughs at you fuckers expense. Here's mine:

I'm riding with my new neighbour for like the 2nd time ever. He's on his pillow-glide or what ever the fuck it is

I just read this like I was watching one of the Bourne movies! Suspense the entire time and laughing at your response, "eh... no biggie". haha... Nice save!

Cheers! -FMS

forgivemeasinner
02-24-2014, 4:03 PM
I still get embarrassed about this...

I had just bought my very first bike. A brand new 2009 Nightster. I had never ridden a motorcycle before in my life, save for the day I went and bought it and rode it home. Yes, I bought a motorcycle with zero knowledge of how they worked. 20 minutes after signing the paperwork, I was doing 90 on the 405. Nailed it...

I never realized they got so busy on the weekends.

I had to hold my mouth reading this one I was laughing so hard! hahaha... Glad you saved it man!

Cheers! -FMS

harrisonFXDX
02-25-2014, 7:48 PM
Pull up to a gas station to get a tallcan, go to put my kickstand down it find my leg is fucking attached to the bike. During my ride the shift peg and worked its way into a hole in my jeans and is not letting go. Seeing as I was already leaning to put it on the kickstand when I found my leg was still attached I fell to the ground with my fuckin' dyna on top of me. Everyone runs over. Lame