I've got an assload of these heather grey T-shirts, each one boldly emblazoned with a subtle rendition of MoCo's famed "Dark Custom" #1 skull icon. Eagle-eyed fashionistas may note that this hardcore design features not a stylized human skull, but a skull-faced fallus. That's "dick head" in lay terms, and it's a dandy. Approximately 10" tall, and with a nice round head with scary eyes to freak out the squares. That's no typo on the bottom: this shirt says Dork Custom. You guys have been bashing the MoCo for months… now it's time to put your money where your mouth is and make a statement that tells the world how you really feel.

MM, ML and MXL sizes, $20 via Paypal only to Haroldmcgruther@verizon.net. Price includes free USPS to continental US. Canada, Alaska and Hawaii $5 more. Sorry—no international orders. Make sure to include your full name, address and shirt size in the comment box on your PP transfer.